TRANSFORM YOUR EMUNAH!

531 - Tests & Decisions (Part-6)

We've been talking about the fundamental idea discussed by many Torah authorities that Hashem created this world ultimately in order to test us, to give us the opportunity to pass the tests that He presents us, thereby earning our place in the world to come. We've discussed many times that if we make decisions just based on our logic, we are susceptible to making the wrong decisions because of our limitations and ability to make mistakes. In addition to the way we are limited, such as mistakes that we might make in our calculations, or a vested interest that we might have that will lead us to a certain mode of thought and direction, it is also important for us to internalize and humble ourselves to what the Torah teaches us about the concept of timtum haleiv.
 
Timtum haleiv means the spiritual contamination of one's heart. And the more we are spiritually contaminated from the effect of certain sins that we might have committed, the less we are able to view the world out of Hashem's lens. When we make decisions, if we are using our own mode of thought and logic, even if we are sure we are not doing so out of vested interests, and we are 100% sure that we are absolutely unmistaken, we might have some timtum haleiv, some spiritual contamination to our soul where we are now not able to view the situation out of the correct lens.
 
So just going ahead and making the decision without talking to Hashem, asking Him for His clarity and guidance, could lead us, God forbid, to make that decision from a place of spiritual contamination. We are so privileged to have the opportunity to talk to Hashem every single day, at every single moment, for no fee. We have the opportunity to ask Hashem for clarity, to guide us based on His perspective, the only absolute correct perspective which is completely uncontaminated spiritually.
 
Our job is to internalize more and more the belief that Hashem is listening to what we are saying, and when we talk to Him, it makes a difference. It is interesting to note that sometimes an idea just pops into our head, sometimes it is apparent that it was a sudden flash of light, but at other times we just changed mode of thought and course of action and we almost can't explain what inspired us to change our thought process and now move forward in a different direction than we previously intended to. An emunah approach teaches us that Hashem is Ein Od Milvado, there is nothing else in the world except for Hashem, and any thought that I have is because Hashem is putting that thought into my brain. When I talk to Hashem and I ask Him to guide me to the right mode of thought, then those thoughts that He will send me will be the ones that are Hashem's perspective.
 
“Hashem, my Father, I am trying so much to grow in my emunah, my belief that You are absolutely and completely involved in every single detail of my life. I really want to believe sincerely that You hear every word that I say, and the thoughts that I have are only as a result of You deciding to put those thoughts into my head, and therefore Hashem, I ask You, please will You help me to internalize the emunah, the belief that there is nothing more in the world that can help me than You exclusively, and the wisest thing for me to do when making my decisions would be to talk to You and ask You to guide me and thereafter I know and trust that You will direct me in the right direction.
 
At the same time, Hashem, the normal way of the world is not to work in this way. People usually rely on their own cunning and logic to make decisions, and everything around me seems to dictate to do so, and in fact it is quite difficult to believe that talking to You and asking You to help me is a wise course, because I don't see You and I don't hear You, and very often even after I do talk to You, I still don't have clarity as to what to do. But Hashem, please help me to follow the Torah's perspective and grow in my belief that You exclusively are the One who has always guided me, who is guiding me, and always will guide me in the right direction.”

530 - Tests & Decisions (Part-5)

Let's consider the following case again. I currently have a respectable job, however my family does struggle financially. I am offered an alternative job opportunity where I would now receive double the salary and be relieved of my financial pressure, but I would be required to work one month from home and one month overseas, away from my family. Would it be right for me to pursue this opportunity? There is no objectively right answer. For some individuals, it would be absolutely right to take this job opportunity, and for other individuals, it would be absolutely wrong to take this job opportunity. How do I make my decision? What's important to realize when making this decision is, is it coming from the right place?
 
Let's say I really dislike traveling and being away from my home environment. It could be that the right thing for me to do would be to take this job opportunity, but because of my discomfort of being away from home, my logic starts to dictate to me why it would be better to not take this job opportunity and why it is wrong to be away from my family every second month. And conversely, let's say I love traveling and therefore the idea of traveling every second month excites me tremendously. It very well could be that in my situation and for my family circumstances, to be away from home for long periods might be detrimental to my family and outweigh the financial gain and the removal of financial pressure, but because of my excitement to travel, my logic starts to dictate why it is the right thing for me to take this opportunity and it would be wrong for me to turn it down.
 
Sometimes our logic is correct and in line with Hashem's approach, but many a time we have vested interests and because of the powerful brains that Hashem has given us, we can convince ourselves of many things even when they are not the ideal course that Hashem would have wanted us to choose. And therefore, the most advisable thing to do before making any decision, especially bigger decisions that will impact our lives significantly depending on what we choose, is to take the advice of what the Torah teaches us in many places, to talk to Hashem and ask Him what is the right thing to do.
 
“Hashem, thank You so much for sending me this new job opportunity where potentially I could be relieved of my financial stress. I don't know if the right thing here is for me to take this opportunity that You've given me as a gift, maybe just to relieve me and my family from the financial stress that we are going through. However, it also could very well be, Hashem, that You are sending me a test because I know that the whole point of this world is to be tested. And it might be that although it is enticing to take this job opportunity which would relieve the financial pressure tremendously, nevertheless, being away from my family for long periods could bring about new complications, and I don't know if this is right for me. Hashem, You know the ins and outs of how I work and how my family works, and all other things I don't even know how to mention because they are so complex. And therefore, Hashem, I ask You with all my heart, please guide me to make the right decision.”
 
The more we believe in Hashem, the more we will invest in talking to Him. If we sincerely believe He is listening, we might not settle on 30 seconds of a small conversation with Hashem, but rather devote 30 minutes or perhaps longer in asking Hashem for clarity and guidance in this situation. Many times, the reason that we are not particularly motivated to talk to Hashem, especially for longer periods, is because we don't hear Hashem, nor see Hashem, and therefore, it is hard to believe that He is actually listening to what I am saying. But we who are working on internalizing our life's mission, emunah, internalizing the belief that Hashem does exist, does listen to me, can help me, wants to help me, the more we grow in our belief that Hashem is there, the more we will be dedicated in talking to Him and asking Him to guide us in making what will truly be for our best.

529 - Tests & Decisions (Part-4)

HaShem created the world in order that we have the opportunity to pass the tests that He presents us, and by doing so, earning our place in the next world. We've discussed that sometimes, when making decisions, it would be appropriate to look at Torah literature that is relevant to our circumstance, if that is applicable in this situation. And at the same time, many times, taking Daas Torah, seeking guidance from Torah sages, is one of the basic foundations of the Torah's perspective in making decisions. If we are to ask an individual who has not particularly thought about this question, how do you expect to find the right course of action in your life? Many would answer, HaShem has given me a brain, and I am expected to use that brain to make the right decisions.
 
Although ultimately, after everything is said and done, that might be what we are supposed to do, it is worthwhile to point out that throughout the stories of the Torah, we find many cases of individuals that were completely righteous and nevertheless committed some of the most grave form of sins. One example is the episode of Korach in the Torah, who as taught by many Torah sources, was known to have been one of the most righteous individuals of the generation, and as taught by the sages, following his thought process, thinking he was making the right decisions sincerely for the sake of HaShem. Nevertheless, we see that in the end, his decision was completely mistaken and wrong, and had very dramatically negative consequences. And in the same vein, we find throughout Tanach many characters who were on a level of righteousness that we could only imagine and dream about, but nevertheless, at the end of the story, they landed up in places that we wouldn't even fathom about doing such sinful and evil acts.
 
One example is a very great Torah sage and personality in the times of Shlomo HaMelech, Yeravam ben Nevat, who initially was a Torah sage of highest caliber, accompanied by his righteousness to levels that again we could only dream about, and at the end of the story, he managed to convince thousands and thousands of people to serve idols in the form of golden calves. Even though we have a well-known episode in the Torah itself outlining to us explicitly what a serious prohibition that is, but based on clever and logical reasoning that he explained why what he was doing was really the will of HaShem, he was led down this mistaken and sinful path. And again, we find many examples throughout the Torah and Tanach and throughout Jewish history of people who were sincerely trying to do the right thing, living lives of righteousness beyond anything we can imagine, and nevertheless were led astray based on following their own logic and thought process and ideas of their own which eventually brought them to places of tremendous sin and gravely severe consequences.
 
So that being the case, how can I be confident that I am not making a mistake in what seems logical to me and my thought process, knowing that I am certainly not as righteous as many of those characters that made mistakes throughout Torah literature? It would seem very worthwhile to humble ourselves, to realize that I am limited by my human nature and my human limitations, and we should also remind ourselves that it very well could be that the reason my mind and heart are guiding me to take a certain course of action and make this particular decision is because I have a vested interest in doing so, and not necessarily because this would ideally be the will of HaShem. Again, if it would be something obvious as to what would be the right course of action, for many of us, we would make the right decision, but much of the time it is not obvious as to what HaShem would want from us. So how are we to find HaShem's perspective, the only absolutely true perspective?

528 - Tests & Decisions (Part-3)

Hashem created us in this world to have the opportunity to be tested ansd to make the right decisions; to pass the tests that he presents us and earn our place in the next world. It is not always clear to know where Hashem is testing us and what He wants from us in this particular situation. The identical situation that two individuals experience, for one, the test could be to say no, and for the other, the test could be to say yes, so many factors will make up one's Nekudas Habechira, the exact point within my free choice where I have the capacity to pass this test.
 
We'll mention four things that one can do to make our maximum effort to pass the tests that Hashem presents us successfully. Number one, depending on the situation under consideration, if there is any Torah literature available directly related to my circumstance in question, the wisest thing to do would certainly be to learn and explore those Torah passages in order to gain Hashem's perspective of the situation. Step number two, in many situations, we are advised to consult with da'as Torah, Torah sages who are well-versed in Torah, as well as striving to be the most righteous individuals they can be. Not only do such individuals possess the vast Torah knowledge of Hashem's perspective, the Torah's perspective, in ways I might not have, but we are also taught that when somebody is immersed in Torah in a potent way, there is a certain holiness and sixth sense that will come out of the advice of da'as Torah because of the holiness of the Torah.
 
These two steps, both researching any Torah literature that might be available and relevant to my circumstance, as well as consulting da'as Torah, may be relevant much of the time. However, many a time, neither of these may be relevant. It could be that there is no Torah literature available about my particular situation, and although it is highly recommendable to consult da'as Torah, especially about bigger decisions, however, one can understand that it is not possible, nor necessarily recommended, to consult a Torah sage about every question that arises throughout my day.
 
So, what, then, am I to do to make my maximum effort to pass the test and succeed in choosing what Hashem truly wants me to choose? We all understand that we, as human beings, are susceptible to making mistakes. All of us will quickly realize that throughout our lives, there have been times that we have made mistakes. So, both when making small decisions, and especially big decisions that could impact our lives dramatically depending on which side of the coin we choose, how can we feel confident when making our decisions that we are following Hashem's perspective?
 
Using my own mind and logic, what makes sense to me, might be ultimately what I have to do just to try my best to make the best decision within my limited capability and capacity that Hashem has given me. But it is important to highlight that we are human beings that are susceptible to mistakes. And many times, we follow certain decisions not because they are necessarily objectively correct, but rather because we have a certain preference for why we would like things to move in that direction. The only perspective that can be the absolute correct perspective is Hashem's perspective.

527 - Tests & Decisions (Part-2)

As discussed, one of the most fundamental principles from the Torah is that Hashem created this world in order to test us. Not because, God forbid, He wants to catch us out, but rather because He wants to give us an opportunity to pass the test. And as explained by Torah sources, when we do so, the pleasure that we will experience in the next world will be so much greater than if Hashem had just given that to us, without us having earned it ourselves. How does one go about making their maximum effort to pass the tests that Hashem sends them?
 
We've discussed previously that although it is much easier to find sheker, untruth, and the distorted approach to life, because that is usually what is presented by the masses around us. Nevertheless, Hashem would never give us an impossible task, something which would be completely unfair. The truth and correct perspective can be found, but again, if this is our purpose in the world, it makes sense that it's not necessarily going to be something easy to find. Let's use an example to illustrate this concept.
 
Let's say that I have a job where the salary I receive is respectable, but my family does have to struggle because the funds are a little bit short, and I receive a job opportunity with double the pay that would now relieve my family from all of our financial stress. However, the job offer outlines that in order to be accepted for this job, I would need to work on a Saturday - on Shabbos. Many of us would understand that this is a test where failing the test would be to take the job, work on Shabbos, and receive the double salary, and passing the test would be not taking up the new job opportunity, continuing to struggle financially, but continuing to keep Shabbos. For somebody who is seriously committed to the keeping of Shabbos, this would not be much of a test, because I understand that keeping Shabbos is of paramount importance and I am absolutely prohibited from compromising on that, even for all the money in the world.
 
But there could be many other examples where sometimes it can be tricky to work out what Hashem wants from me. For example, what if I currently have a job where although we are struggling financially, however, I do have the privilege to return home every evening and spend time with my family. I now receive a job opportunity that again has doubled the pay, but I am now required to travel overseas every alternate month for the duration of that entire month, which means one month I will see my family and the next month I will have to be away from my family. For some people, that might be the right thing to do. For other people, that might be the wrong thing to do. How am I supposed to work out what Hashem would want from me in this situation? Ultimately, after everything is said and done, the answer is just to try your best. But again, trying my best can mean different things to different people when we're looking from different perspectives. The only perspective that we want to follow is the perspective of the Torah, which is the perspective of Hashem.

526 - Tests & Decisions (Part-1)

The classic Sefer, Messilas Yesharim, brings down the well-known idea brought by many Torah authorities that all of the happenings in our lives in this world are ultimately in order to test us. As we've learned many times, Hashem ultimately created this world in order to give us an opportunity to earn for ourselves our future in the next world. And by giving us opportunities where we are able to either pass or fail a test, we now have a chance to earn our place in the next world. Of course, our aim should be to try to pass the test initially, but in Hashem's great He has also given us the opportunity of teshuvah, to rectify mistakes or even transgressions that we committed on purpose, where we have an opportunity to rectify what we have done wrong, and by doing so that would be passing the test.
 
The areas that we are tested in will vary from individual to individual, and just like one cannot know the level of emunah of another individual because ultimately that depends on my personal relationship with Hashem and many factors which other people will not be aware of, including my personality, sensitivities, the way I was brought up, and many other factors. And in the same way, the areas that Hashem may give me an opportunity to be tested and hopefully succeed in passing that test, will vary from individual to individual.
 
Rav Dessler talks of the nekudas ha-bechira, which means the point of free choice. That point of free choice will vary from individual to individual, and even within oneself may vary from day to day, or even from moment to moment on a given day. So, for many individuals, when I walk into a supermarket and I do not steal items from the supermarket, I have not performed a particularly great mitzvah because under my nekudas ha-bechira, where my free will lies, I don't even have an evil inclination to steal. It's not something that I think of to do. Whereas, when I'm about to have a drink of water, many times I'm in a hurry and I rush the saying of the bracha before and after drinking the water. My test would be, am I going to rush another bracha, or am I going to slow down and say it with meaning and intention?
 
And take another individual who has struggled with crime and stealing, and perhaps has even sat in prison for periods of time. For this individual, walking into a supermarket and not stealing might be a huge test that could be comparable to me having said every blessing today with ideal intention and meaning. One never knows where someone else's point of bechira, free choice, and the opportunity to pass the test lies. And even for myself, very often it is not clear exactly where the point of my test might be. However, what we are to remember is that in this world, we were created to be given tests. Not because Hashem wants to catch us out, but because each moment is and can be an opportunity to gain our place in the next world.

525 - Parnassah (Part-9)

We've learnt many times that Hashem is exclusively running every single detail in all of our lives. And with regards to our sustenance, there is no exception to this rule. As the Rambam states in the 13 principles of faith, "v'hu levado" - "and He exclusively orchestrates every detail to my life." And as we learnt from the Mesillas Yesharim, when we approach the topic of hishtadlus - of making our own efforts, we have to emphasize and make it loud and clear to ourselves that our efforts have zero effect on what we are trying to achieve, which sometimes can seem irrational and unrealistic to one not coming from a Torah perspective. Because can't you see? You make an effort and you get what you're trying to achieve; You don't make an effort, you don't get it. The mann clearly doesn't fall from the heavens anymore.
 
Many people therefore mistakenly might be led to assume that Hashem used to be with us in the past, but He does not provide for us anymore. God forbid! Such an approach to hishtadlus is certainly borderlining on avodah zarah, on idol worship, believing that I am the one who dictates my destiny. And as we know, idol worship is the most severe sin that we have in the Torah, to the point that for real idol worship, one is obligated to even give up their life rather than succumb to it. So when we approach hishtadlus, we certainly don't want to go anywhere near anything that might even borderline slightly on the concept of idol worship.
 
We've also mentioned previously the Sefer HaChinuch, which is quoted in the Biur Halacha in chapter 1 of the Shulchan Aruch, where he states that if somebody does believe in Hashem but believes that there is also some other power that can contribute in addition to Hashem's power, that is idol worship. It is so important when approaching the subject of hishtadlus to internalize the words of the Mesillas Yesharim in 21, that the efforts that we make are just a tax, which means that our efforts have no correlation to the result and income that we bring in.
 
The Gemara in Pesachim 118a teaches that Hashem's task in providing one's sustenance is equal to the task of splitting the sea, is more difficult than the task of bringing the ultimate redemption, and is twice as hard as the task of childbirth. Now of course, Hashem has access to all the money in the world. So when the Gemara here is teaching us that the task of Hashem providing for us is equal to the task of Him splitting the sea, more difficult than bringing about the ultimate redemption, and twice as hard as the task of childbirth, we are learning here that it is a big gift for one to receive one's sustenance. Although Hashem can do anything, He nevertheless desired that the way the world should work should be in a way that usually we have to struggle to some degree to receive our sustenance.
 
We all are currently alive and have received sustenance in some form or another till this very day. Imagine for a moment we would have the opportunity to experience Hashem splitting the sea for us in order that we make our way through to safety. Most of us would talk about that and be inspired from that event for a long time. What about the ultimate redemption that we're all praying for to come speedily in our days? And anyone sincerely looking who has witnessed the tremendous miracle of childbirth can see clearly what a tremendous miracle that is. However, this Gemara is teaching us that the miracle of Hashem coming through for us and giving us our sustenance is so big that it is comparable to the sea splitting and greater than the miracle of childbirth and the ultimate redemption. "Thank You so much Hashem for providing for me every single day of my life in one form or another that until this very point in my life Hashem, You have always given me my sustenance. Thank You Hashem for being my exclusive provider."

SPECIAL: Segulah For Parnassah!

There is a well-known segulah to recite Parshas Ha-Mon – shnayim mikra v’echad targum on the Tuesday of Parshas Beshalach (today). In this 10-minute shiur, we explore this practice together with some powerful, lesser-known insights from the holy Riminover Rebbe.

524 - Parnassah (Part-8)

It's worthwhile to constantly remind ourselves of this passage of the Mesillat Yesharim in chapter 21, where he writes that our efforts that we have a mitzvah to make - hishtadlus, is a tax payment and has no connection whatsoever to success in the endeavor that we are trying to achieve. Ein Od Milvado teaches us that Hashem exclusively runs the world and He does not need our help, nor do our efforts even slightly contribute to the results that He sends us.
 
The Mishnah right at the end of the Gemara Kiddushin 82b states the following: Rabbi Shimon Ben Elazar says, I never saw a deer work as one who dries figs, nor a lion work as a porter, nor a fox work as a storekeeper, and yet, they earn their livelihood without toil. But all these creatures were created only to serve Me. I, however, a human being, was created to serve the One who formed Me. If these animals, who were created only to serve Me, can earn their livelihood without toil, then is it not logical that I, who was created to serve the One who formed Me, should earn My livelihood without toil? But us humans have committed evil actions and have therefore lost our livelihood.
 
This is another Torah passage where we learn Hashem's perspective loud and clear. Our sustenance comes directly and exclusively from Hashem. If not for the fact that we had committed a sin and are now under the effects of the curse that requires us to make our own efforts, we would then receive all of our sustenance without having to make any effort and be free to devote our time and energy in complete service to Hashem. Whereas because of the curse, we are now obligated to fulfill that curse and make efforts towards our parnassah. But again, just because we have a mitzvah to make an effort does not mean we have a license to borderline avoda zara - idol worship, God forbid, where one would be led to believe that their efforts are even slightly contributing to their successes. It is so important to internalize that yes, we have a mitzvah to make an effort, but God forbid to make any correlation between that effort and the sustenance that I receive. Hashem is our exclusive and sole provider.
 
It is important to remind ourselves of what our purpose is in this world. Perhaps a worthwhile question would be: if Hashem would remove this curse and thereby not require us to make efforts to receive our sustenance, but rather would just send us our sustenance as He did in times of old, what then would I be doing with my time? The verse states that man was created to toil. The purpose of life is not to reach a place of retirement and pleasure. Rather, man whilst alive is meant to work and as the midrash teaches, if he merits, he will toil in the world of Torah and mitzvos, and if not, he will have to toil in other areas. Ideally, our lives should be devoted as much as possible to talking to Hashem, which as we've learnt many times is a huge mitzvah in its own right, to the learning of Torah, performance of mitzvos, and the many other spiritual areas which are the true reason for our existence.
 
The Midrash Rabbah to Kohellet chapter 1 states the following: Money does not satisfy. When one has ten, he desires twenty. And were a person to have a thousand, he would desire two thousand. As this midrash and many other Torah sources also point out, the nature of money is that we always desire for more. Even were a person to be the wealthiest person in the world, much of the time, if they do not have the proper Torah perspective, their desire will be to be twice as wealthy. We sometimes believe that were we to have a certain amount of money, all our problems would disappear. But as we've learnt many times, that is certainly not the case. The only true source of comfort is emunah in Hashem, because with belief in Hashem, we are always safe and content with our allotted portion.
 
We need money to live, but our purpose in this world is to serve Hashem, and the only reason we have this mitzvah of hishtadlus which has no correlation to the sustenance we receive is because of the curse that Hashem placed on mankind. And as we learnt from the midrash, we were made to work, and the more we make efforts to dedicate our lives towards serving Hashem, the less we might be required to fulfill this curse. "Thank you Hashem for teaching me your true perspective."

523 - Parnassah (Part-7)

We've discussed the daily mitzvah to recite the parashas hamann and how the Torah commentaries teach that the main purpose behind reciting that Torah passage is to imbue in us Hashem's true perspective, which is apparently different to what meets the eye. In our eyes, we see a direct correlation between our efforts to make money and the money that we receive. However, as we learnt in the Mesillas Yesharim chapter 21, sustenance comes exclusively from Hashem and the only reason we need to work is to live out the curse that was decreed on mankind when Adam disobeyed Hashem's command and ate from the tree. And as the Mesillas Yesharim taught us, we are to constantly be mindful that our efforts are a tax that have no correlation to the results that they might seem to produce.
 
As we've discussed many times, there are many levels to what it means to have emunah and bitachon, and this certainly applies to the area of parnassah - of sustenance. Although the highest level might be to internalize to such a degree that my efforts have absolutely nothing to do with the sustenance that Hashem sends me, however, as always, the reason we are learning these passages is to teach us where we are to aim, and Hashem is very proud of us and happy with us if we are just doing the best that we can.
 
"Hashem, my Father, thank You for teaching me that You are my sole provider, to the point that You don't need me to make any personal efforts whatsoever. Hashem, please help me to internalize the truth of Your perspective, that my parnassah - my sustenance, comes exclusively from You, and the exact amount that You want me to have, in the exact form that You want me to receive it, is determined exclusively by You. The extent of Your involvement in sending me my sustenance today is no different to how it was when You would send people man from the heavens. The only difference, Hashem, is that because of the curse that You placed on mankind, we are obligated to make our own efforts, and it now seems like if we don't make an effort, we will not receive our sustenance.
 
And granted, Hashem, that I am therefore obligated to fulfill this mitzvah of making an effort, but please, Hashem, help me to take to heart the words of the Mesillas Yesharim and other Torah commentaries that we've learned, that the efforts that I make have absolutely nothing to do with the sustenance that I receive. And Hashem, I know You don't expect me to be more than I can be, and it is very hard to go to work and imagine that the work that I'm doing is actually not helping me to bring in my sustenance, but rather I'm just going to work to fulfill the mitzvah of performing hishtadlus. Hashem, I'm asking You to help me grow more and more each day, to live with more sincerity by the values of emunah, that You exclusively are my provider, and it is not me. God forbid, Hashem, I don't want to fall into the trap of idol worship in our day and age, where I might be led to believe that it is not You exclusively who provides for me, but rather my efforts help me bring in my sustenance.
 
And just like in times of old, the forms of idol worship that were available to people was a real challenge, because people were able to go practice a certain magical procedure, and by doing so, would receive the sustenance or other needs that they might have needed. And similarly, in today's times, it makes it quite challenging that You have commanded us to fulfill the mitzvah to make our own efforts - to perform hishtadlus, because it is so difficult to divorce my efforts from the sustenance that I receive, when it seems so apparently obvious that if I don't go to work, You have no way to provide for me. Of course, I am obligated to fulfill the mitzvah and go to work, but if I might be sick, or when I might not be able to perform my hishtadlus for whatever other reason, please Hashem help me to then feel completely calm, that I am not worse off whatsoever, because You, Hashem, are my exclusive provider."