TRANSFORM YOUR EMUNAH!

367 - True or False?

We've discussed many times that emunah ultimately is about what we believe, not about what we see nor about what we understand. In fact, as learnt numerous times, the Torah commentaries teach that this world is referred to as the world of untruth, where things that appear to be a certain way are in actuality very often the opposite. People and situations which are often defined as success stories in this world, many times in the world of truth, are defined as exactly the opposite. So how do we find the true perspective if everything in this world seems to go against the truth?
In Hashem's books there is a beautiful teaching that helps us to internalize and digest this concept. The word for truth in the Torah is emes and the word for falsehood in the Torah is sheker. Both of these words are comprised of three letters each. If one takes a look at the word sheker which stands for falsehood, we will notice two things. Firstly, the letters that sheker are made up of are three letters of the Hebrew alphabet that follow one immediately after another. And Torah commentaries teach that this is because sheker, falsehood, is very easy to find. Just like to get from one letter of the alphabet to the next one immediately following it is an easy exercise. So too, to find falsehood and sheker in the world is very easy. In fact, if we do not work hard, we will find sheker.
And in the same vein, if one looks at these three letters sheker, the way they are written in the Torah, they all stand on just one point. Some of the letters of the Hebrew alphabet in the way they are written in the Torah, the base and bottom of the letters are comprised of a line or numerous points. However, these three letters of the word sheker, all three letters stand and are supported by just one point. And the reason for this is because although sheker, falsehood, is very easy to find, nevertheless, falsehood is not something that stands solidly. And if one makes an effort to try to find the truth, the falsehood, the sheker can be knocked over relatively easily. And we find by the word emes, truth, exactly the opposite.
The word emes is comprised of three letters of the Hebrew alphabet, the first letter of the alphabet, the middle letter of the alphabet, and the final letter of the alphabet, to teach us that, yes, it's going to be difficult to find real truth in this world because the attractions and entertainment that this world is always advertising to us is always ringing with falsehood the easy way out. However, if we make an effort, we can find the truth. It is going to be more difficult to find the truth than to find falsehood. But nevertheless, if we search hard, we will find the truth. And in the same vein, these three letters of the word emes, their bases are not just standing on one point in the Hebrew alphabet, they stand solidly. And that is to teach us that when one has found the truth, that truth will be difficult to topple over.
When something is false, if one makes an effort, one will be able to topple it over and see eventually that that is not the true way. Whereas with truth, if one works hard to find it, one will eventually know that this is the truth, because that will be very difficult to topple over and move back towards a life of falsehood. Let us remember, everything in this world is about our belief, our belief in Hashem, our belief that ultimately what we see and experience for the most part is Sheker, is falsehood. And we have to believe the guidance of Hashem, the guidance of the Torah, for without that, just using our common sense logic, the things that we see and experience, we will be led to a life of Sheker. However, if we choose to live a life of Emunah, a life of belief, and choose to make our maximum effort to follow the guidance of the Torah, we can find the truth. The truth is difficult to find, but can be found. “Thank you Hashem for the opportunity to be able to have your perspective of Emunah and be able to find the truth in my life.”

366 - Nature Vs. Nurture

Emunah means belief, specifically, when I don't understand, I don't see, I nevertheless believe. Emunah is a personal relationship with Hashem that is just between me and Hashem. No one else can truly know the real level of another individual's emunah. In fact, you could have two people that, from our perspective, if we were to be painting the scorecard, we would give both of them the same score, because they both seem to be succeeding in the same areas in the same way. However, it is so important for us to remember that we do not see anything in this world in its true manner. Let us remember what the Torah commentaries teach us, that this world is called Alma d’Shikra, the world of falsehood. So many things in this world are upside down from its true expression of what they actually are, which we will only see and understand in the next world.
Let us use an example to illustrate this concept. Take two individuals who experience a challenging situation, such as having an acquaintance steal a large amount of money from them. Now, we have learned many times that a perspective of emunah and bitachon would teach us that we are not to get angry. Of course, we would be permitted, and perhaps even obligated, to act in a practical way to try to recover our money. But nevertheless, we are completely forbidden from getting angry, because as the Gemara teaches, getting angry is a form of idle worship, because when I get angry, in a sense I am saying Hashem does not exist, God forbid, and therefore I have a license to get angry at this individual who brought this suffering upon me. Somebody who is living with an emunah and bitachon perspective, and always has Hashem in the picture, understands that every individual is ultimately a puppet of Hashem, and therefore just like it would be insane if somebody hits me with a broomstick, to start punching and shouting at the broomstick, because we all understand there is something behind the broomstick, the individual who is hitting me; in the same way if I am living a life of emunah and bitachon, it would be absolutely insane to get angry at that individual.
So let us take two individuals that respond successfully, in our eyes, to this situation. Both individual A and individual B, in their separate circumstances, who had an experience of somebody stealing a large amount of money from them, respond with calm without getting angry. In our books, both of these individuals have been successful in their emunah endeavor. It could, however, very well be that individual A has been created by Hashem with a natural tendency of being calm to all situations. Even without belief in Hashem, this individual might be calm through any and every situation, and not necessarily is their expression of remaining calm and not getting angry an expression that results from their emunah endeavor. And in the same way, it could very well be that individual B has a super strong tendency to get angry with every small disturbance. And that is the way Hashem created them. And nevertheless, in this situation, they somehow managed to respond with complete calm, not getting angry. And the way they got here is because of their tremendous work in their emunah and bitachon. Although initially, feeling inside themselves an almost natural reaction and response to get super angry at this individual, because that is their nature, however, through their growth and success in emunah and bitachon, they managed to respond in a completely calm way without getting angry.
Both individual A and individual B have responded in a calm way without getting angry. However, in Hashem's books, these two individuals will have completely different looking scorecards. Let us remember, emunah and everything that is under the emunah and bitachon umbrella is not about anything we see nor what we understand. Emunah is about what we believe.

365 - Make It Happen

We've been discussing how the usual way of the world we live in very often directs us towards becoming spectators and passengers. Yes, many would agree that one needs to first work in order to achieve their success, but the goal, according to many with the mistaken perspective, is that eventually we finish our work so that we can sit back and relax to the pleasure and entertainment that the world has to offer. We are so privileged to be able to not need to be bound by any perspective that could exist, but rather have the true and only perspective, Hashem's perspective, the guidance of the Torah teaching us with an explicit verse that man was created in order to toil. In this world, every human being is meant to work hard, and as the Midrash puts it, if we invest our energies into the normal usual way of the world, then that's where we will exercise our obligation to work hard. Whereas when someone chooses to invest their energies towards their spiritual endeavors and service to Hashem, then as the Midrash says, their obligation to work in this world can be fulfilled in their effort towards their service of Hashem.
And in addition to that, we've learned the Gemara, which states that in all areas of our lives, although we might have an obligation to work to fulfill the mitzvah of hishtadlus, to make an effort, nevertheless, according to all opinions, we are absolutely obligated to believe that our efforts have absolutely zero impact in the actual outcome of what we are trying to achieve. However, the Gemara points out that there is one exception, and that is that everything is preordained and exclusively orchestrated by Hashem, except for the areas of our spiritual growth, where there we have a particular power to impact our own destiny, unlike other areas.
As discussed many times, the Torah commentaries mention that our ultimate purpose in this world is to grow in our emunah, belief in Hashem. It is certainly advisable and recommended to seek constant daily inspiration, to try to be able to live with the mindset of emunah on a constant basis. Everything in the world seems to go against a life of emunah, and therefore, even for those who are involved in spiritual endeavors through their regular routine, it would be very advisable to seek constant inspiration about living a life of emunah and bitachon on a constant basis. For some people, it might be most beneficial to listen to recordings about emunah and bitachon. For others, it might be beneficial to read books about emunah and bitachon. There is no question that this endeavor to seek inspiration on a daily basis about emunah and bitachon is a very worthwhile endeavor. However, it is so important that the process and journey does not end there.
We should not fall into the trap of becoming a spectator and passenger in our spiritual endeavors, and in particular, in our journey and effort to grow and become successful in our emunah, in our faith in Hashem. Of course, the importance of the daily inspiration, listening, reading, or whatever it may be, is of paramount importance, but it is super important to not stop there and internalize and realize that the only way to ultimately and truly grow in our emunah endeavor is by investing our own effort, time, and energy into our emunah growth endeavor. Talking to Hashem is available to each of us at every opportunity, and the more we talk to Hashem, the more we develop our relationship, the more we will grow in our emunah.

364 - Passenger

We live in a world where for many people the ultimate goal is to become a spectator and passenger and enjoy the pleasures that the world has to offer you. Very often the message that we hear and are exposed to in this world is that the ideal is to reach a place where I can just sit back, relax and enjoy and have everything done for me, where I can just be passive and enjoy pleasure. We are so privileged to have Hashem's perspective teaching us the true way we are supposed to live our lives.
The verse states, man was made to toil - we were created in order to work and the Midrash states on that verse that if we do not merit, we will have to busy ourselves with the normal usual ways of the world, whereas if we choose to rather toil and work in the areas of service to Hashem, then Hashem will minimize our need to work and make effort in the usual areas of the world and we will have the privilege to spend more time in our effort and endeavor to grow in our service to Hashem. Everybody understands that in order to become a world-class piano player, it will not suffice for one to watch many videos and movies of people playing the piano. One might learn a few things by doing so, but of course ultimately in order to become proficient oneself, one has to spend many hours practicing on the piano and not just watching others do so.
We live in a world where sometimes working and making efforts into one's own endeavors is seen as the first step which one kind of just needs to get through and the ultimate goal is to be able to just sit back and relax when one is finished one's work. The Torah's perspective, the only true perspective, is that just like we can understand that for the aspiring piano player, the only way that they could reach their goal is by their personal investment of their own effort and time and energy. In the same way, the Torah guides us as to how we can become proficient in our endeavor to serve Hashem. The Gemara states that everything is in the hands of Hashem except for areas of fear of Hashem. That means to say, we who are striving to live by the values of Emunah understand that ein od milvado means there is nothing else except for Hashem in the world and only what Hashem says goes. How much money I will have, how much serenity I will have, how much happiness I might have, and all the areas in one's life, they are all exclusively orchestrated by Hashem.
And if one were to feel that they could add or subtract from Hashem's preordained plan, that could be tantamount to idle worship. However, the Gemara is teaching us that when it comes to our spiritual endeavors, there Hashem is telling us that we do have a say, to the point that the Gemara says that it is in our hands the level of success that we will achieve. It is so important to remind ourselves not to sit back and be spectators and passengers in this journey through life. Of course, we have to have it at the forefront of our minds that only Hashem preordains and orchestrates every single happening in our life, whilst at the same time we are taught that when it comes to spiritual endeavors, Hashem tells us that we are to view the situation then as if it is in our hands and make maximum effort to grow in our spiritual endeavors. We are so privileged to be able to live with the correct and true perspective, the only true perspective, the perspective of Hashem.

363 - To Truly Give

We learned in the Mishnah in Pirkei Avos that the world stands on three things, Torah, Avoda and Gemillus Chassadim. Gemillus Chassadim refers to acts of kindness. So important is it to perform acts of kindness that that is considered one of the pillars that keeps the world going. We all have many opportunities on a daily basis to fulfill this tremendous mitzvah of Gemillus Chassadim, acts of kindness that upholds the entire world. Just giving another individual a smile or sending somebody a message that brings positivity into their lives is a fulfillment of this tremendous mitzvah. Of course, giving charity is one branch of the mitzvah of Gemillus Chassadim. If Hashem in His Torah is teaching us that the mitzvah of Tzedakah, one of the highest ways to perform the mitzvah of Gemillus Chassadim, is considered to be one of the pillars of the world, there is no question that that is the truth. We believe it even if we don't see or experience that truth.
It is interesting to point out that when somebody gives charity to a poor individual, an observer would usually credit the donor as the righteous individual in the situation, because they are helping out the poor individual, and the poor individual is just receiving a gift. If we were to follow our own line of thinking, that would perhaps be the way we would view the situation. However, we are so privileged to not have to be misled to view situations by perspectives that can be mistaken and wrong. The Zohar HaKadosh, one of the holy books of the Torah, teaches us that in actual fact when a poor individual receives money from someone who is donating to them, in actual fact the poor individual is giving much more to the rich individual than the other way around. Although counterintuitive, again, we don't see the true impact of our actions in this world. We have to believe it. In fact, we will only see what actually truly took place through the absolute lens of truth in the next world, although I might have helped this individual tremendously in a financial way. Nevertheless, the spiritual blessing which I am now to receive is much greater than anything financial can buy.
And in the same way, the Zohar states elsewhere that when Hashem loves an individual, He sends them a poor person their way. Because again, in our perspective, one might think, I don't really want to be bothered by somebody to have to give them charity, whereas in Hashem's perspective, He understands that the greatest gift in the world, much greater than any money can buy, is the opportunity to perform the mitzvah of giving tzedakah to the point that the Zohar says that if Hashem loves you, He will send you a poor person an opportunity to perform the mitzvah of tzedakah.
“Thank you, Hashem, for the opportunity to perform this incredible mitzvah that upholds the entire world of Gemilus Chasadim. Sometimes it might be so easy, as easy as giving somebody a smile or sending a message, and at other times, giving charity or other forms of kindness. Hashem, please help me to internalize the truth, your true perspective, that when I give charity to somebody, I am gaining much more than they are gaining from my financial benefit. I don't see that with my eyes, Hashem, as you know, because you created me to exist in this world where my eyes do not see through the lens of truth. However, Hashem, I beg you, please help me to be able to believe in what you tell me. Thank you Hashem for the incredible pillar of Gemilus Chasadim.”

362 - It's All About YOU

The Mishnah in Pirkei Avos teaches us that the world stands on three things, Torah, Avoda and Gemillus Chassadim. We've learned many times the tremendous potency of Torah learning and how we are taught that the value of Torah learning is on par with all 613 mitzvahs put together and many other powerful fruits that we bear from Torah learning. The second pillar that the Mishnah says upholds the entire world is Avoda. The commentaries explain that in today's times Avoda refers to prayer to Hashem. It is so important to tap into this incredible opportunity and responsibility that each one of us has to pray to Hashem. This is one of the pillars that keeps the world going.
In addition to talking to Hashem and praying for our own personal needs, it is a mitzvah to daven for other people's needs. The Gemara states that if I know somebody else is going through some form of suffering and I neglect my responsibility and ability to pray for them, I am classified as a sinner. Let us digest these words from the Gemara. It's not just an added act of kindness to daven and pray for somebody else who is suffering. It is our responsibility and obligation to the point that if we know somebody else is suffering and we do not daven for them, we are considered a sinner. In the same way, one of the leading Torah sages of the previous generation, Rav Moshe Feinstein, writes that even if we do not believe ourselves to be righteous people necessarily, nevertheless, if we know somebody else is enduring some form of suffering, we are absolutely obligated to pray on their behalf. And he explains the reason for this is because we do not understand the workings of heaven. It could be that for whatever reason, my prayer is the one that will be answered. Even though I might not be the righteous individual, in the heavenly calculations which are obviously beyond our understanding, the other righteous individuals may not have the power and license to help out with their prayers in this situation, whereas me, even though I might be committing many sins in other areas, nevertheless, if I pray, it could be that my prayer has the power to help out this individual.
Let us also remember that the Gemara states elsewhere that when I pray for somebody else, I actually receive my salvation first. Of course, our main intention in praying for somebody else should not be because we are only selfishly thinking about receiving our own salvation in return. However, as a fringe benefit to give us inspiration, it is important to remember that the Gemara tells us as a fact that when we pray for somebody else, we will be answered first. Besides for the three prescribed prayers that we have the opportunity to pray every single day, every single one of us has the constant opportunity to pray to Hashem in our own words. Of course, it is important to pray about our own needs too but let us not neglect our responsibility to care about one another and pray for each other's needs.

361 - It's All About ME

We know that the Sefer Torah is comprised of 600,000 letters, and the law is that if even one letter is either missing or damaged, the entire Sefer Torah is considered to be invalid and unusable. In the same vein, we are taught by Torah commentaries that there are 600,000 Jewish souls that exist. Now of course, there are many more than 600,000 Jews in the world, however we are taught that different parts of the same soul may be embodied by numerous different people. But in essence, in its source, there are 600,000 neshamos - souls. And Torah commentaries explain the connection between these two ideas, that just like by a Sefer Torah, if just one letter is damaged, that renders the entire Sefer Torah to be invalid in the same way when it comes to the Jewish people as a whole, if just one of those souls is damaged, in a sense, the entire Jewish nation is considered to be invalid.
This idea can inspire us on two fronts; one, when we relate to other people, to realize that it doesn't matter how great the rest of the Jewish nation might be doing or succeeding, if one particular soul is missing or damaged, that affects the entire nation in an atomic way. The respect and the love that we ought to have for every single soul and person is much easier to appreciate when we realize that we are all so necessary. And in the same vein, for every single one of us to remember as an individual that not only have we been given an opportunity to live a life of Hashem's perspective with the Torah as a Jew, but we also have tremendous responsibility to play our part, because if we do not play our part, the entire nation is affected in an atomic way.
Let us remember the important words from the Talmud that teach every single individual is obligated to believe that the entire world was created just for me. To digest that, all the millions of people that were created in the world, they're there just for my story. All the billions of dollars invested into all the different ventures in the world, it's all there just for me. The sun, moon, stars, planets, everything. One may say, but how can that make sense? We don't understand Hashem's workings of anything of how it can make sense. But if the Gemara tells us that everybody is obligated to believe that the entire world was created just for me, of course, if we are living a life of Emunah, we believe that.
“Thank you, Hashem, for the incredible opportunity that you've given me to be a Jew. Every single moment of my life has the potential to be meaningful, to connect to you, to perform your mitzvahs, to do acts of kindness. Thank you, Hashem, for teaching me that the level of pleasure that we experience in this world of your true kindness is so small in comparison to what is waiting for us in the next world. What an incredible opportunity. Thank you Hashem for making me part of this nation. And Hashem, at the same time, I ask you to help me internalize the responsibility that I have. If you have put me in this world, and I am still alive today, it must be that there is some important role that only I can play. Please Hashem, help me to find my potential and fulfill it to its highest. Thank you, Hashem, for the incredible opportunity and responsibility of being a Jew.”

360 - Defining Success

The Gemara recounts an episode where one of the rabbis had a near-death experience. He was considered to be clinically dead, and thereafter his soul returned back to his body, coming back to life. The Gemara recounts that when this sage was asked what he experienced during this episode, the sage responded that he saw the next world, the world where everything is upside down from this world. He explained further that many of the people which are considered to be success stories in this were considered to be the paupers in the next world, and many of those that seemed to be unsuccessful in this world were the true success stories in the world of truth.
We need to remind ourselves that in Torah literature, this world is called a world of untruth, because we are not able to see via the lens of truth in this world. If I were to escort a blind man down a few roads, having to cross the street when the robot turns green, having to be careful not to stumble over the items and people that might be obstructing our way, the blind man cannot see where he is going; the only reason he knows where to go is because he believes that I am taking him to his desired destination. We need to remember that in this world, we are all considered to be like the blind man. We do not see where we are going, we can only believe that we are being taken to our desired destination. One day in the next world, our eyes will be open and we will see through the perspective of absolute truth.
“Hashem, my Father, I know that You created me with Your main objective for me to have emunah, belief in You. I have been taught that this world is a world of lies, very often upside down to the true perspective of what we will experience in the next world. But I know, Hashem, that I am unable to experience or see the truth of that in this world. Hashem, it is so hard to hang on to this belief when everything else in this world seems to go against so many of the values of emunah. Please, Hashem, can You help me grow in my emunah and bring me to a place that I truly believe that everything that happens in the world is only for the best and can only be for the best, because if You are sending it to me, there is no question that You would only do good for me, even though I have no understanding and I cannot see why that is best for me.
And at the same time, Hashem, please help me not to be misled by what is termed success in this upside-down world. Everything in this world that we live in, Hashem, in a sense is giving fuel to that mode of thought, to the successes of what people of this world consider to be successes. However, Hashem, I know the truth. I know that the Torah teaches us that many of the happenings in this world are actually upside down in the next world, and in the next world are not success stories. Hashem, please help me to find the real success story that will be an eternal success story.”

359 - Road to Humilty

The Torah records a verse which states that the humblest person in all time was Moshe Rabbeinu. We know that the Torah was written by Moshe Rabbeinu at Hashem's command. So, in a sense what is happening here is Moshe Rabbeinu is writing about himself, “I am the humblest man of all time.” Some Torah commentaries explain that true humility means that a person is able to write about themselves, “I am the humblest man of all time.” And of course this being counterintuitive begs explanation. And the commentaries explain - what is true humility? To deny the fact that one is talented in certain areas is not humility; that is just speaking untruth. True humility means to recognize that every single one of my talents and abilities stem 100% exclusively from Hashem. Moshe Rabbeinu knew the truth. He knew that he was excelling tremendously in the character trait of humility to the point that he could write the truth in his book the Torah and tell us, “I am the humblest man that exists.”
However, the reason that that did not lead him to feel arrogant is because Moshe Rabbeinu was so clear that anything and everything that we are ever able to achieve is a direct result of Hashem's blessing. And therefore, there is no reason to feel arrogant or proud about the talents that Hashem has blessed us with. When one is living a life without emunah, mistakenly believing that they are the engine that drives their successes, sometimes they might be successful because that's what Hashem decrees, and sometimes they might not be successful because that's the way Hashem wants it. However, if they are successful, in a sense they are worse off than if they wouldn't have been successful. Because if we remember that the reason we exist, as the Torah commentaries many times explain, the only reason that Hashem created us and put us in this world is to have emunah and thereby earn our place in the world to come, and if Hashem has sent success our way, but we fail to recognize that that success was sent from Hashem, and we mistakenly attribute our success to our own efforts, that would be the greatest tragedy. Because although in our eyes this person appears to be successful, in the true lens of Hashem that we will only witness once we leave this world, when we see absolute truth, there is no success taking place here. Because this individual is attributing their success to their own efforts, which is tantamount to idle worship.
The approach of one who is living with an emunah perspective would be to recognize that I cannot do anything without Hashem sending me that blessing in the first place. And therefore, if I am super talented in whatever area that may be, I don't feel proud to share that information with other people that I am excelling and succeeding in this area because I know that the only reason I can do so is because Hashem is giving me a gift. Of course, we are all supposed to make our maximum effort in a practical way to succeed in our endeavors in this world. However, what is the most vital point is to remember that without Hashem, we cannot even lift a finger. But with Hashem, we are unstoppable. A life of emunah leads to a life of humility, and true humility means to recognize that anything and everything I am able to accomplish is only as a result of a gift from Hashem.

358 - Atomic Bomb

Imagine for a second that we were given the following offer. If we give $100 to charity today, we will prevent a certain country from dropping an atomic bomb. Even if it's difficult to get those $100 together, most of us would make a plan, because stopping an atomic bomb from falling is a very worthwhile investment to make.In a different scenario, if we were offered the following: If you are to sit down and say to Tehillem for one hour today, you will then cause a dying individual to be saved. Most of us would commit to that hour, even if it would be difficult, because we're saving somebody's life.
Let us not forget, the reason we were created, as mentioned countless times by the Torah commentaries, is to have emunah in Hashem. Emunah means belief. Belief means I don't know, I don't see the results, I can't understand why what I am doing is important and exactly how it makes an impact. However, I believe that if that is what Hashem's perspective tells me, that is for sure the truth. That is what I believe. When we say a word of Tehillim, when we do a mitzvah, when we learn a word of Torah, when we talk to Hashem in our own words, our job is to believe.
The Torah commentaries teach us that when we perform a mitzvah, learn a word of Torah, say a word of Tehillim, talk to Hashem in our own words, perform an act of kindness, or do anything towards our service to Hashem, even if in a sense we don't see any inspiration as a result of our deed, the Torah commentaries teach us that we are impacting spiritual worlds that are much bigger than we can even begin to imagine. If we were to know that just doing a certain good deed would make an impact in the world, like saving a dying soul or preventing an atomic bomb, in the same vein, if we were to know that performing a certain sin would bring about an atomic bomb on the world, most of us would think twice before performing that sin.
Our job is to build our belief - to believe what the Torah commentaries teach us. When we perform a sin, we are destroying spiritual worlds that have an impact much greater than an atomic bomb on our entire physical world. And in the same way, when we perform an act of kindness, we perform a mitzvah, we talk to Hashem in our own words, we learn Torah, we are impacting and creating spiritual worlds in a way that is much more impactful than we could ever have on this world. We are not just saving an entire nation. We are not just saving the entire world. We are doing something much bigger than that. Our job is to believe that because we do not see those things happening. Remember, the only reason for Hashem creating us and placing us in this world is specifically to believe. How do I bridge this gap?
The answer to all questions. “Hashem, I want to believe the truth. I am learning the information and trying to be inspired about the truth that my good deeds really make a bigger impact than anything I could imagine of this world. And also, conversely, when I perform a sin that is negatively impacting the higher worlds in a much deeper way than anything I could imagine could be affected in this world. Please Hashem, help me to internalize the truth that what I do is truly meaningful and help me therefore to really believe in You and really believe in the results of what I am doing. Hashem, please help me to believe more and more in You every single day.”