TRANSFORM YOUR EMUNAH!

187 - Bitachon (Part-13)

As mentioned many times, Torah sources teach, "HaShem Tzilcha" - HaShem is your shadow. Just like if one puts out one finger into the sun, the shadow that you'll see is that of one finger, whereas if you put five fingers out, then you'll see a shadow of five fingers, in the same way, when it comes to reliance on HaShem, the more one relies on HaShem, the more one will see HaShem come through for them.
We've mentioned the approach of bitachon that many Torah commentaries bring, that one relies on HaShem about something that they might be lacking, to the point that they are absolutely certain that HaShem will give them exactly what they have requested. And again, there are many levels. There might be times where it is more appropriate to say, "HaShem, I know You can do anything, but I don't expect anything in particular. Whatever You decide, that's what I want to go with." 
And at other times, one might feel it more appropriate to say, "HaShem, I really need this job opportunity to come through. Until now we've really struggled and I'm not even able to perform mitzvos in the ideal way because of our lack of funds. HaShem, I really would like to be able to rely on You, that You will come through for me because I really believe that there is no other force in the world except for You. You exclusively orchestrate every single detail in my life. HaShem, I know You will come through for me."
Whichever approach of bitachon one is taking, it is absolutely vital to do our best to work towards being sincere in our reliance on HaShem and in what we are requesting from Him. There is a story told about Rav Yisrael Salanter. He was once sitting with another great Torah leader and they were having the following argument. Rav Yisrael Selanter insisted that with bitachon one can obtain anything he wants, while the other great Torah leader argued that this is not the case. To prove his point, Rav Yisrael said that he will have bitachon to receive a gold watch. And at that moment, there was a knock at the door; a man walked in and handed his watch to Rav Yisrael. 
There is no question in the world that bitachon works, and there is no question in the world that we believe what the Torah sources say - that bitachon is not related to our deeds. It is available to every single one of us. Yes, we might not all be on the level of Rav Yisrael Salanter to need a watch and be able to rely on Hashem to the point that we receive it a few minutes later, but there are many levels in between where we might currently be and where our maximum potential might be at. 
"Thank you Hashem for teaching me that relying on You is so powerful that it works to the point that many Torah authorities write, that if I rely on You for something, I will for sure receive that item. Now Hashem, I know that there are many levels and there may be many reasons why I might not receive something that I choose to rely on You for. If I am fully sincere in my reliance, maybe at times I might be able to be in this category, but maybe sometimes I am insincere. Please Hashem help me to move towards a bitachon where I am able to rely on You with absolute sincerity, with absolute reliance, that You exclusively provide for me, can send me everything and always have my best interest in mind. 
And Hashem, even though You've taught me that bitachon is completely independent of my actions, and if I rely on You, You will come through for me even if I have a messy scorecard, however, at the same time, please help me to remember my priorities. It's not about what I want and then using the power of bitachon to live life in the way that I would like, but rather first setting my priorities right. What is important in life? Is it just about making efforts to rely on You to get the new car that I want? Sometimes there is a place for that, but much more important than that, my priorities should always be to receive things that I need in order to enhance my service to You.
Hashem, You know the reason that I would like more money. I would like to fulfill the tremendous mitzvah to be able to give more charity. And I'm going to have bitachon in you, that this particular venture that I'm exploring, that You are going to make it successful so that I should be able to get more money in order to fulfill Your mitzvah of giving charity in the best way possible. Thank You Hashem for the incredible gift of bitachon and the incredible gift to talk to You on a constant basis."

186 - Bitachon (Part-12)

We've been discussing the two approaches the commentaries outline with regards to bitachon. Although the conventional understanding is to rely on Hashem that He will always take care of us and do what is best for us, the other approach to bitachon that many Torah authorities outline is to rely on Hashem so heavily and confidently that He will give me exactly what I have asked for. 
As we mentioned in the words of the Beis HaLevi, "Bevadai yasig ma shechaser mehitztarchuto" - that one who places their reliance on Hashem will for sure receive what they have requested. And as mentioned, many Torah sources teach that this applies regardless to one's spiritual level and scorecard; even if one has performed many sins, the power of bitachon is so great that when one relies on Hashem, Hashem will come through for them. 
We mentioned the Gemara which states that there was a poor man who came over to Rava and requested a more extravagant meal than would usually be suitable for a poor man. And although initially Rava had suggested that when asking other people for funds it would not be appropriate to ask for anything more than the bare minimum, after the episode, the Gemara concluded that it was not out of place for the pauper to ask for the type of meal that he was used to, because ultimately all of our sustenance comes exclusively from Hashem. 
This idea can be illustrated further by another passage in the Talmud. The Gemara in Brachos 60a states that once as Hillel was on his way home, he heard cries of anguish from his neighborhood and he stated with confidence that these cries were not coming from his house. And the Gemara questions how was Hillel able to be so confident that the tragedy that had befallen was not coming from his own family? And the Vilna Gaon explains that the reason was because exceedingly righteous people live with full confidence that they will never suffer any harm. 
And one more passage in the Talmud to highlight this idea. The Gemara in Taanis 19a tells the story of Nakdimon ben Gurion, a wealthy Jew who lived in the time of the second Beis Hamikdash and who during a time of severe drought wanted to provide water for the Jews traveling to Yerushalayim for Yom Tov. He borrowed wells of water from a Roman individual promising that they would be refilled by a certain time and if not then he would fill them with gold. Nakdimon took a very big risk yet he remained fully confident that Hashem would enable him to fulfill his promise. Sure enough, at the last moment heavy rain began to fall and the wells were all filled.
Although some might argue that being so confident that Hashem will come through for an individual might be saved for the righteous, we see from many Torah commentaries that that is not the case and that this mode of thought may at times be applicable to many of us even during our times. And as always in any area of doubt, after trying our best to learn Torah passages and seek guidance from Torah leaders, the most advisable thing to do is to talk to Hashem and ask for clarity. 
"Hashem you have taught me this most precious information about bitachon. Thank you so much for teaching me that the opportunity to have bitachon is available to every single one of us regardless of our actions and how we are doing in terms of our spiritual scorecard. Hashem thank you also for teaching me the different types of bitachon that the Torah authorities offer us. Of course always praying to you and hoping to you for the best the way we see it in our eyes, but sometimes thereafter letting go and accepting that whatever you do will for sure be the best, whilst at the same time appreciating the other mode of bitachon, that the power of relying on you is so strong that at times it might be appropriate for us to rely on you to such an extent that we are sure that what we need and what we are asking you for will come about. Please Hashem will you guide me to be able to apply the bitachon that I am learning and truly rely on you under every and all circumstances throughout my life."

185 - Bitachon (Part-11)

We mentioned that the Torah commentaries cite two different approaches to bitachon. The first, more well-known and conventional approach to bitachon is that we are all called on to rely on Hashem exclusively, expressing to Hashem that we know that He is the exclusive orchestrator to every happening in our lives, and we are called on to hope and pray that Hashem will provide us with the things that we need, whilst at the same time we accept that not necessarily will Hashem come through for us in the way that we desire, but rather that whatever He does decide to do, we trust that that is for sure the best for us. 
The second approach to bitachon is where one is so confident in what they are hoping and asking Hashem for, to the point that they are now asking Hashem in the form that they will for sure receive what they are asking for. We are taught by many Torah commentaries, such as Rav Chaim Vital, the Beis HaLevi, Rav Dessler, the Steipler and many others, that the power of bitachon is so strong that relying on Hashem causes Hashem to give us what we are relying on Him for. 
Not only that, the Midrash teaches that even a wicked individual who relies on Hashem reaps all the benefits of bitachon and following suit to this Midrash is the Ramban and others who again teach that even a thief or some other wicked individual who chooses to rely on Hashem, Hashem will come through for that individual. The bottom line is that bitachon is completely independent of our scorecard. Although we are of course called on to make every effort to stay away from sin and do as many mitzvos as we can, nevertheless, the power of bitachon is something completely independent to our scorecard. Even if a person is tainted with tremendous impurity from many transgressions and sin, of course as the Torah sources teach us, there will always be consequences for those actions unless a person repents for them; nevertheless, when one chooses to practice bitachon and rely on Hashem, it does not matter anymore what one's scorecard is, in terms of the bitachon being able to work and Hashem coming through for the individual.
The many Torah commentaries that mention this type of bitachon where one is able to rely on Hashem to the point that they are certain Hashem will give them what they are asking for can be illustrated further by some passages we find in the Talmud. The Gemara in Kesubos 67b cites a story about Rava who was once approached by a needy person asking for food from the communal charity fund. "What do you like to eat?" Rava asked. "Fattened chicken and aged wine", the man said. "But you're taking from the public charity fund", Rava replied. "Do you really expect to receive such extravagant food and wine when you're relying on charity?" "What do you mean?" The man said. "I get what I need from Hashem." And the needy man quoted a verse to support his statement that it is not Rava who is providing for him, but rather Hashem exclusively is his sole provider. 
The needy man said, "Hashem does not provide sustenance in a general manner, but rather provides each individual with his needs. If so, if one relies on Hashem, he will receive everything exactly how he wants it." And the Gemara goes on to say that just then Rava's sister, who he had not seen in many years came to visit him and she brought him as a gift - fattened chicken and aged wine. Rava then gave over the chicken and wine to the pauper and acknowledged that the pauper was right and it was now absolutely clear that the sustenance that was due for the pauper was not even slightly coming from Rava, but rather exclusively from Hashem, and therefore Rava acknowledged that the pauper was correct in that although he was seeking funds from others, it was proper to still consider his own self-worth and dignity. 
When one is not living a life of bitachon and one has to take a favor from another individual, the Torah approach is to always be appreciative. But if one feels like this individual is my provider, that sometimes leads to flattery and other sins which the Torah prohibits us from committing because again, that is not my provider, that is just the messenger; the only provider for every single thing in my life is Hashem Himself.

184 - Bitachon (Part-10)

Rav Dessler, in his Michtav Me'eliyahu, part 5, page 74, writes that there are two approaches to bitachon. Approach number one is where I realize that there is absolutely no other power in the world and Hashem is exclusively the only one orchestrating every minute detail in the world, the only one that can help me and the only one that I should turn to. But at the same time, although I might be hopeful and am called on to pray to Hashem for what I desire, I nevertheless don't necessarily expect that to happen. Hashem has many considerations and although we are called on to pray for what we think is best for us, as we are taught from many Torah sources, nevertheless, what Hashem does is His business and we can trust that that is for the best. 
Rav Dessler mentions that there also is a second approach to bitachon and this approach outlines that one relies on Hashem to such a heavy extent that one is certain Hashem will give me exactly what I am requesting. To one who has not heard this concept before in Torah sources, at first this can be a difficult idea to digest. Who says I deserve what I am asking for? Hashem has many considerations. Maybe He'll decide that it's best for me not to receive what I am requesting, and many other similar considerations. As always, whether we understand or we don't, we always follow the only true perspective, Hashem's perspective, the perspective of the Torah and the Torah commentaries. As mentioned previously, the fantastic work by Artscroll, the Beis HaLevi on bitachon, authored by Rabbi David Sutton, outlines this and many similar concepts in a fantastic manner. 
The Beis HaLevi himself, in his classic essay on bitachon, writes that a person who truly chooses to rely on Hashem for a particular need or something that they might be lacking, in his words, "bevadai yasig ma sheyechsar lo mehitztarchuto" - he will for sure obtain what he is currently lacking. Although this approach might seem like a novelty, there are many, many Torah sources that teach that this is the ideal approach to what it means to have bitachon, to be able to rely on Hashem to the extent that I am so certain He will give me exactly what I am asking for. To name a few others that bring this approach to bitachon, Rav Yosef Albo in his Sefer Haikkarim, as well as Rabbeinu Bachya in the Kad Hakemach, as well as Rav Chaim Vital in Shaarei Kedusha, and many others. Both approaches are valid, and depending on circumstances and perhaps other factors, each approach can be used at the relevant times. 
"Hashem my Father, I have been struggling to find my marriage partner, as you know, for a long time. For whatever reason you have challenged me in this area, I know Hashem that You exclusively orchestrate every single detail in my life and in everybody's life, and when You decide that my husband should come along, You and You exclusively will make that happen. So there is nothing for me to worry about. And Hashem I beg You, please let it happen soon. I have been waiting for so long, and I beg You, in the very near future, please will You send me my marriage partner. And at the same time Hashem, I acknowledge that I don't know the ins and outs of Your calculations, and whatever You do, I thank You for that, because I know that You will always do only what is best for me."
This is certainly a very valid approach to bitachon, where I am trusting in Hashem completely, acknowledging that He is the sole orchestrator of every detail, but not necessarily expecting what I have requested. The second approach to bitachon would say, "Hashem my Father, I have been waiting for so long to find my marriage partner. I am going to trust in You exclusively because I know that You are the sole orchestrator to every detail in my life and everybody's life. I know that in one second, You can send me my marriage partner. Hashem, I am going to rely on You to the extent that I am certain that You will send me exactly what I need.
Hashem, I am begging You that in the near future, You will send me my marriage partner. And I am going to feel now Hashem, as if You have already found my marriage partner, because I know that that is what You are going to do." Thank you Hashem for teaching us all the approaches about bitachon and giving us the keys to be able to live a truly meaningful life.

183 - Bitachon (Part-9)

In an ideal world where one is able to reap all the benefits of a life of true bitachon, true reliance on Hashem, we would not be required to make Hishtadlus - to make our own efforts. And as the Torah commentaries teach, the only reason that we are required to fulfill our mitzvah of Hishtadlus is because it is a curse that was placed on us when the initial man, Adam, ate from the tree. 
However, the Torah commentaries delve into what seems to be an apparent paradox, because on the one hand, we have a mitzvah to absolutely rely on Hashem exclusively, and on the other hand, we have a mitzvah to make a real effort on our own accord. One who is interested in researching this topic further is invited to view our 8-part series that was posted at Recording 97. 
Briefly for our purposes right now, we are called on and obligated from the Torah to make every effort to live a life of absolute bitachon, which means to believe that Hashem exclusively runs every single detail in my life and to make a practical effort to turn that belief into the way I practically live my life, not feeling feelings of fear from other individuals, not flattering my boss, the doctor, or whoever else I might sometimes be led to feel that I am relying on. 
And in truth, if not for the fact of the curse that was initially placed on mankind, the curse to perform Hishtadlus, I would not have needed to make an effort, because, as the Mesillas Yesharim teaches, the effort that I make has no correlation to the result that I achieve; the money that I receive, the recovery from illness, finding my marriage partner, or success in whatever other area I might be dealing with, has nothing to do with the efforts that I make. Hishtadlus is just an obligation, a curse, but the fact that we are obligated to live out that curse should not mislead us into thinking that our own efforts could even slightly contribute to our endeavors. 
Let us remember the words of the Sefer Hachinuch that are quoted in the Biur Halacha right at the beginning of the book, where he writes that as we know there is a mitzvah not to serve idols, and as he explains, included in that mitzvah is to believe without a shadow of a doubt that the only power in the world is Hashem and no other individual, nor circumstance or effort can contribute even slightly towards the happenings in my life, and believing that Hashem runs 99% of my life, but just 1% is left up to another individual circumstance is included in the category of idol worship. So whilst we have a mitzvah to fulfill the curse of making an effort, of making a Hishtadlus, it is of paramount importance to remind ourselves of the dangers of having the wrong approach to Hishtadlus, to making an effort, which could borderline on idol worship. 
"Hashem, I am currently feeling quite fearful about the current war that is taking place. Please help me to internalize that You alone are the one protecting us. Although we have an obligation to set up an army and fight the enemy, because we have an obligation to perform the mitzvah of Hishtadlus, to make an effort, nevertheless please Hashem help me not to be misled to the wrong perspective that would make me think that the only reason we are safe is because there is an army protecting us. 
Help me to appreciate and pray for every single soldier fighting for us, whilst at the same time to realize that what the army is doing for us is just fulfilling the mitzvah of Hishtadlus, which ultimately comes from the curse which obligates us to make an effort, but the only source of our protection is exclusively from You, and by me realizing that You are my sole protector, I will be led to a life free of anxiety, I will not fear what the enemy is threatening to do. By fearing the enemy, as I have learned in Your Torah sources, that can God forbid attract some of those things that I am fearing, whereas when I adopt an approach of absolute bitachon, reliance on You, I have nothing to worry about, no reason to feel anxious, because I know that You Hashem are protecting me."

182 - Bitachon (Part-8)

It's important to emphasize that no one can truly tell another individual's level of emunah and bitachon. One might see another individual who appears to be quite fearful and anxious, and one might therefore conclude that individual is not excelling in their emunah and bitachon, because again, as we've learned many times, when one lives a life of bitachon, one relies on Hashem and doesn't feel fear and anxiety from the troubles and challenges that present themselves in our lives.
However, the truth is that that is not the case, because every individual is influenced by the nature of the way Hashem has made them, as well as the nurture they have received throughout their lives, shaping their personality. It's possible to have an individual who doesn't feel anxious or fearful about anything, even without the values of emunah and bitachon, and this could just be due to their personality and their nature. Of course, it is never our place to judge another individual, and we should always try to see the good in one another.
Our true scorecard, only Hashem knows. How successful we might appear to be in our endeavor to excel in bitachon depends on our personality and other factors, and therefore if we are naturally a very tense individual, but by working on bitachon, we are able to minimize our fears and anxiety even slightly, such an individual with such an achievement might be on a much higher level than many others who appear to be of less anxiety, worry and fear. But it is important to emphasize that whatever we can do in order to minimize bringing in any more anxiety and fear into our lives, we should make our maximum effort to do so, because remember, not living by the values of bitachon is a great sin as the Torah commentaries have taught us, and the greatest gift is to be able to rely on Hashem and have the security of the Master of the Universe Himself. 
The Gemara in Shabbos 151b instructs that one is not to sleep in an empty house alone, and whilst there are many details to the exact parameters of this halacha which we will not delve into right now, for our purposes we'll mention the commentary of the Meiri who explains that the reason for the statement of the Gemara that one is not to sleep in an empty house alone is because it brings oneself into the test of fear. For many people, being alone can bring one to feelings of fear and therefore says the Meiri, if you are able to avoid such a situation, one should do so, because again, the opposite of the mode of thought of bitachon is being in a situation of fear, and anything we can do to minimize that should be done. 
And in a similar vein, the Gemara in Bava Kamma 60b emphasizes the importance of staying indoors during times of plague. And although again there are many details to this statement, the Ben Ish Chai explains that this is not only a health precaution, but also a method of reducing fear, because when people remain indoors, they will not see nor hear about illness or death being caused by the plague, so people will be less frightened. 
We are all made up with different natures and different personalities, and different people are triggered to fear and anxiety by different things. Whilst we can never know the level of another individual with regards to their emunah or bitachon, and even many times our own level, because one doesn't know - is the fact that I feel anxious due to the fact that I don't have enough bitachon in my life, or is the fact that I feel anxious due to my inherent nature? Regardless, that is not our job. Our job is to make our maximum effort to minimize the fear and anxiety as much as possible, and any situation that might provoke bringing more fear and anxiety into our lives should be minimized as much as possible. 
For many people, constantly following the news updates can trigger tremendous anxiety, and if that is the case, that would certainly be a modern application of these Torah sources that we have learnt. "Thank you Hashem for giving me your incredible Torah sources to teach me the real keys to the treasures of life, how to live a life of true bitachon, of true reliance on you, which ultimately leads to a life free of anxiety and free of fear."

181 - Bitachon (Part-7)

We've been learning about the tremendous importance of the mitzvah to rely on Hashem - to practice our bitachon. As we've learned, the Torah commentaries write that it is a great sin to not live a life of bitachon. And when one chooses not to rely on Hashem, but rather fear other individuals and circumstances, not only does one now not have the special protection that bitachon provides, but one actually brings about those troubles that they are fearing from coming about.
Life is full of challenges and situations that trigger us to feel feelings of fear and anxiety potentially. When we live lives of bitachon, we are able to feel calm, even when the greatest challenge might be presenting itself. I remind myself, who is looking after me. As the Vilna Gaon writes, Just like a baby nursing from its mother does not have a worry in the world, because it has everything it needs and it knows it will never go hungry, in the same way, Hashem is taking care of all of our needs, those that have already arisen and those that might arise in the future. 
It is not difficult to see the tremendous emphasis that the Torah commentaries place on the importance of living a life of bitachon. But one might say, "I would love to live a life of bitachon and already be there, but the truth is that I don't feel that reliance on Hashem, so how do I get there?" And as always, the solution to all problems is to talk to Hashem about what I need. Every single one of us has the constant opportunity to talk to Hashem about anything and everything, whenever we want. And if we truly are seeing it as our life's mission to grow in our emunah and bitachon, it is vital that we dedicate time to make an effort and give us a space to talk to Hashem and ask Him to help us to grow in our bitachon. 
"Hashem my Father, You are well aware of what just transpired, that just yesterday I lost my job, and the truth of the matter is that I currently don't have a backup plan. I don't know where to from here. I have people that are dependent on me, and without the salary that I was receiving, I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do in the coming months. My natural tendency, Hashem, is that I am petrified. I know that the consequences of this could be devastating, and Hashem, if I don't remind myself to internalize the values of bitachon, I know that I'm going to get tremendously fearful, anxious, depressed, and many other negative feelings. 
But You have taught us that You ultimately run every single detail in our lives, and I've been making an effort to try to grow in my emunah, as well as taking those principles and applying them practically. Hashem, I don't want to rely on any other individual, nor any other circumstance. Help me to internalize the true perspective. My ex-boss was never paying my salary. You Hashem exclusively were always paying my salary, giving me the money that I need. And although until this moment You decided that the way You would like to give me my sustenance is via my ex-boss, the only thing that has changed now is that the method of You delivering my sustenance to me is going to change.
If I am God forbid to think that I am in the hands of my ex-boss, there is so much to fear, because there is no way I am getting this job again. And the truth of the matter is that I don't have an alternative right now, and I don't know where to from here. Please help me not to be fearful, but rather to rely on You. Of course I am going to make an effort to try to find alternatives, to fulfill the mitzvah and my obligation of hishtadlus - to make an effort. But to feel feelings of fear and anxiety is in essence coming from a place of me not having true bitachon, because Hashem, if I know that You are my exclusive provider, You have many ways to provide for me. Thank You so much, Hashem, for giving me the opportunity to talk to You, the King of Kings, the Master of the Universe, in personal conversation, intimately, whenever I choose to."

180 - Bitachon (Part-6)

We've been discussing the potency of bitachon and the tremendous emphasis that the Torah commentaries place on making our maximum effort to excel in bitachon. Let us not forget the words of the Vilna Gaon, who says that a life free of sin but devoid of bitachon, although it might be an achievement that one has not performed sin, but nevertheless, because they are not living a life of bitachon, that is considered worse than living a life of severe transgressions, but excelling in bitachon. And as emphasized previously, of course we are called on to stay far away from every form of sin. But there is even more emphasis placed on striving to excel in bitachon, in our reliance on Hashem. 
We also mentioned the Beis HaLevi who said that it is a great sin to not live life by the values of bitachon. And again we see here the importance the Torah commentaries are placing on and emphasizing in the efforts we need to make to live a life of true reliance on Hashem. The Beis HaLevi also mentioned that whilst bitachon can save a person from the current challenges and fears they might be experiencing, the opposite is also true. When a person is not living by the values of bitachon, but rather giving in to the fears and other powers that seem to be outside of Hashem, that fear in itself is the catalyst that brings about those new troubles that we were fearing. 
Now the question we might ask is, how am I supposed to control my emotions? If I am currently experiencing something that is scary to me and I am fearful, how can I be commanded not to be fearful? And the fantastic Sefer that we have been discussing, the Artscroll version of the Beis HaLevi on bitachon, cite in the notes that the great Steipler Gaon shed some light on this issue. And he writes that one is certainly not held accountable for natural fear or anxiety that one experiences, which is practically uncontrollable. And as the Gemara states, the Torah was not given to angels and does not expect us to be superhuman. However, the Steipler goes on to explain that we are called on to make an active effort to not think about worrisome thoughts on an ongoing basis, as such thoughts may cause additional fear to one's nature or personality. Rather, one must strengthen oneself with thoughts of emunah and bitachon. 
The Torah was not given to angels and as the Staipler writes, we are not expected to live superhuman lives, making our endeavor impossible. But there are many areas where we do have the choice to move our lives towards reliance on Hashem - Bitachon, as opposed to the other side, a life without bitachon, where we bring more and more fears into our lives. 
"Hashem, my Father, what a tremendous gift I have to be able to talk to you about anything and everything, because the truth is that whenever I get stuck in life about anything, I always have somewhere to go. And it's not just an effort that might work, might not work; I am coming to you, Hashem, who is the source of everything, and I know that you're listening to every single word that I am uttering. Hashem, I am trying to internalize the incredible importance of living a life of true emunah, of true bitachon, and the truth of the matter is that I really want to rely on you in all areas of my life, to the point that when I experience something in my life that is causing me to feel anxiety or fear, I want to be able to turn to you, Hashem, and rely on you, and be able to feel calm. 
Please Hashem, help me to advance in my journey to living a life of true bitachon, where I will more and more turn to you, and exclusively to you, regardless of what I am experiencing. Thank you so much, Hashem, for giving me the incredible opportunity to talk to you whenever I want, and especially now, when I might not know exactly how to inculcate the values of bitachon into my life, but more than any other effort, I know that just by talking to you, you are listening to me. Please Hashem, help me to talk to you with sincerity, and truly mean what I say, and I beg you, Hashem, help me to move successfully towards living a life of true bitachon."

179 - Bitachon (Part-5)

We've been talking about the paramount importance that the Torah places on the Mitzvah of bitachon. Remember, the Vilna Gaon says that it's better to live a life with severe transgressions, if that means a life of Bittachin, rather than a life free of transgression but devoid of Bittachin. 
We are of course given no license to perform transgressions by any Torah authorities and have to make our maximum effort to always do the will of Hashem, but we see here the incredible importance and emphasis that the Torah commentaries place on our endeavor to grow in our Bittachin. We also discussed the words of the Beis HaLevi in his classic essay on bitachon, where he writes that the obligation to have bitachon is such a fundamental prerequisite and foundation to the whole Torah itself, and if one lacks bitachon, it is regarded as a great sin. 
As discussed previously, simply speaking, bitachon means to rely on Hashem and feel calm that He is going to take care of me, regardless of what circumstances might be presented to me. When I am not living a life of bitachon, there are many things to fear, people, circumstances, and whatnot, whereas when I am living by the values of bitachon and relying on Hashem that He will always take care of me, regardless of anything else that might be transpiring in my life, that leads to a life of calm, serenity, and lack of fear.
The Beis HaLevi writes further that not having bitachon in Hashem, but rather being fearful instead, is itself the cause for one's downfall. And as he writes, "because when a person trembles in fear of something, rather than relying on Hashem, this itself causes a snare, one that did not even exist previously, to be placed in front of him regarding that very matter that he feared, whereas when one relies on Hashem, he will be saved even from a problem that already existed." 
The Beis HaLevi is teaching us that when one chooses to rely on Hashem, the power of that bitachon can save him from the challenges he might be confronting, whereas when a person is not living by the values of bitachon, but rather by the mistaken illusion that there are other forces in the world, such as some terrorist group that might have the power to do something without Hashem first decreeing it, or if one feels that the only reason for their safety is because of soldiers or an army, or perhaps one might feel that the future might depend on the power and authority of a certain president and the like, then the Beis HaLevi writes that that lack of bitachon is actually what brings on that thing that we might be fearing to transpire.
There are many things that are potential for fear and anxiety. Choosing to work towards living a life of true reliance on Hashem, of true bitachon, is the best anti-anxiety that we can shoot for. And the more we grow in our bitachon, the less fearful we will be from any situation that might present itself.
And on the flip side, the more credibility we give to other forces outside of Hashem, and the more we give in to those fears, as if Hashem was not the one to protect us from them transpiring, the more we bring those things upon ourselves. Bitachon is the foundation of the entire Torah, and as outlined by the Torah commentaries, bitachon is available to every single one of us, regardless of our spiritual level, regardless of our background. Let us make use of this most powerful and important foundation to who and what we are.

178 - Bitachon (Part-4)

We've been discussing how when it comes to Emunah and Bitachon, we want to try, understand what Hashem's perspective is, which is ultimately the only truth that we can rely on. Hashem teaches us His perspective via the many Torah sources that we have available to us. 
We discussed the frighteningly powerful words of the Vilna Gaon, who teaches us that although there are countless Torah sources highlighting the importance to stay away from even the slightest sin, nevertheless the Vilna Gaon writes that bitachon is so important that if one had to choose between one of two options, either a life free of sin, but also a life without bitachon, or alternatively a life of severe transgressions, but however coupled by a life lived according to the values of Bittachon, one would be obligated to choose the latter, because although staying away from sin is of paramount importance, nevertheless a life of bitachon is even more important than that.
Another incredible resource that we're going to be exploring in our journey of bitachon is the fantastic essay of the Beis Halevi on bitachon. I highly recommend anyone who's able to get a copy of the artscroll Beis HaLevi on bitachon, authored by Rabbi David Sutton, which has been written incredibly clearly and easy to understand for all levels. 
The Beis HaLevi opens the first chapter with the following words: "The obligation of bitachon appears in many verses in the Torah, too many to count, and if one lacks bitachon, it is regarded as a great sin." Now firstly what we see from the statement of the Beis HaLevi is that he didn't even deem it necessary to quote the source of what the obligation to have Bitachon is in the Torah, because it is such an obvious preface and foundation to a life of Torah and mitzvos itself. If one is interested in the exact sources, again this incredible book has many fantastic appendixes at the back, and in the first appendix Rabbi Sutton discusses the many different sources offered by the commentaries as to what exactly the source for the obligation of Bittachon is.
It is also important to highlight these very potent words of the Beis HaLevi. Let us remind ourselves that Torah commentaries were very careful with the words that they used, because the slightest misrepresentation could lead readers to making vital mistakes. The Beis HaLevi specifically chose the words that if one lacks bitachon, it is regarded as a great sin. Remember, the only true perspective that we have is what the Torah teaches us. There are many pluses and benefits that we receive from living a life of bitachon that Bezrat Hashem will explore together as we move further into Bittachon. However, here the Torah commentaries are highlighting to us that it is a great sin to not live by the values of bitachon.
"Hashem my Father, please will you help me to find the right resources for me to learn exactly what it means to live a life of bitachon, and please Hashem help me to be able to take the things that I learn and apply them in a practical way, and B'ezrat Hashem, be successful in my endeavor to live a life of true bitachon. 
Thank you so much Hashem for teaching me exactly what my purpose is in this world, and that ultimately the way to achieve my reward in eternity in Olam HaBa is by making every effort to excel in my emunah and bitachon. Obviously Hashem, if this is the main reason that You created me for, it makes sense to me that this needs to be the highest priority in my life, because it's obviously not something that can just come without making a real effort to excel in this area.
Hashem, I know that it's one thing to know the concepts of emunah and bitachon, but as the Torah sources teach us, it's something completely different to be able to take those concepts and sincerely internalize them and live by their values throughout all of the happenings in my life. Please Hashem, will You help me to be successful in all of the areas of my journey to excel in emunah and Bitachon."