TRANSFORM YOUR EMUNAH!

416 - It's the Same Hashem

The passage in Tanach from Shoftim chapter 16 verse 28 tells how the Prophet Shimshon was blessed with supernatural strength, which made him immune to his enemies. Eventually, however, his enemies, the plishtim, discovered his secret and stripped him of his supernatural strength. Using his own words, Shimshon requested that Hashem please give him the supernatural strength just one final time to take revenge against the plishtim in order to sanctify Hashem's name just one more time. And as the passage tells, Hashem answered Shimshon in His personal prayer. 
There is a well-known Torah teaching which states that ma'aseh avos siman labanim - the narratives recounted in the Torah, are not just mere history lessons, but rather each event has valuable lessons to teach each one of us that we can apply to our lives in a practical way. One obvious take-home from the above account in the episode of Shimshon and the Pelishtim is to regularly reach out to Hashem using our own words. The same Hashem who was present and available to hear and come through for Shimshon in his challenging situation, is the same Hashem who is present today and waiting to hear from every single one of us. 
The Gemara in Yoma 29a states that with regards to prayer, the more one prays, the more effective one's prayers become. It's important to take to heart this teaching of the Gemara, because as we know, tefillah can be disheartening at times, especially when we do not seem to receive what we had prayed for. Sometimes Hashem withholds blessing from us specifically in order to give us reason to keep on praying. Eventually, however, all our prayers come together and will be much more potent and effective than if we had been answered in the first place. Again, our purpose in this world is to have emunah. I don't know, I don't understand. Emunah means, I believe.
The Midrash elsewhere teaches that some prayers take years before they are answered; some prayers take months; some days, and some prayers are answered instantaneously. And the question is, why? And the simple response is, we cannot know Hashem's calculations in this world specifically because we are called on to believe - to have emunah - not to understand and know Hashem's workings. But the one thing is for sure, that no prayer ever goes to waste. And just like we learned from the Gemara above, the more one prays, the more effective one's prayers become, and if I prayed for something, and not only didn't I get answered, but things even seemed to get worse, although logic and a mistaken perspective would dictate, "you see, Hashem is not really listening", however, the emunah perspective would dictate - "even if I don't see Hashem coming through for me, I have no doubt in the world that that prayer that I just made is making a huge impact, and even if the results are not experienced right now, it could be that for whatever reason, Hashem is holding back right now, but in the future, there is no question that this prayer will come through for something of tremendous value."
The book of Yonah relates the fascinating episode when Yonah was swallowed by a large fish and remained inside it for three days and three nights. Whilst inside the fish, Yonah reminded himself that the only thing that could help him out of his predicament was tefillah. He was therefore able to pray to Hashem with true sincerity, even inside the innards of a fish. As mentioned many times, personal prayer was the consistent practice of all of our ancestors. The opportunity of prayer is always accessible and available to every single one of us at any time and at any place. "Thank you so much Hashem for the constant opportunity to be able to reach out to you and have my personal relationship with you."

415 - Where Is Your Home?

We've been discussing how practising our emunah and bitachon, our core purpose and focus in this world, is expressed in one of its highest ways when we talk to Hashem in our own words. Again, for many of us, if we are asked if we believe in Hashem, we would answer in the affirmative. However, when push comes to shove and adversity strikes, there are many levels of how one can respond. The ultimate would be feelings of complete calm and turning to Hashem in prayer to help out. And on the opposite extreme would be someone who doesn't even think about Hashem, but rather just runs around trying to find their own solutions. There are millions of levels in between, and all we are required to do is grow each day to make a little bit more effort to when something does happen, rather than initially running around to try to find our own solutions, first reaching out to Hashem and asking Him to help us in our endeavour to find a solution. 
The Midrash Rabbah in Vezos HaBerachah section 11 states that after it was decreed that Moshe Rabbeinu would not be permitted to enter Eretz Israel, he prayed no fewer than 515 times, beseeching Hashem to annul the decree. And as the verse states, after the 515th prayer, Hashem actually asked Moshe Rabbeinu to stop praying about this matter. And this is because had Moshe Rabbeinu prayed just one more time, Hashem would have been required to fulfill His request. 
Many people would ask, but doesn't Hashem run the world? Hashem calls the shots, and if Hashem desired that Moshe Rabbeinu should not enter Eretz Israel, regardless of how many times he prayed, He would not have entered. And the answer to this question is that Hashem created the world with a rule: Tefillah works. Just like Hashem created the nature of our world, that if you are hungry and you eat food, it satiates the hunger, and if one is tired and sleeps, one feels rejuvenated thereafter, similarly, Hashem created nature in the spiritual worlds, and one segment of how the natural order in the spiritual worlds work, is that emunah, bitachon, and prayer work, to the point that Hashem had to ask Moshe Rabbeinu, "please do not pray again, because if you do, although I do not want you to make your way to Eretz Israel, I will be required to take you in because of your prayers."
Nobody is on the level of Moshe Rabbeinu, and for many people to daven 515 times would be an achievement beyond our maximum capacity, but again, one day when we meet our Creator, we are not going to be asked, how did you do in comparison to Moshe Rabbeinu? We are going to be asked, how did you do in comparison to what you could have become? Every single one of us has the constant opportunity to pray. If we are to internalize the truth of the words, ein od milvado - that Hashem truly orchestrates every single detail in every one of our lives, we will quickly realize that we don't call any of the shots to anything that happens in our lives or in anyone else's lives. Everything is exclusively orchestrated by Hashem. The only thing that truthfully is within our capacity, is our ability to pray and ask Hashem to make things turn out the way we would like, and of course thereafter, to make our maximum effort to make it happen. 
Many individuals have expressed their desire to live in the land of Israel. It is not our time and place now to discuss the benefits of what it means to live in the land of Israel from a halachic or Torah perspective, but assuming that one has decided that ideally they would like to live in the land of Israel, for many people, much of the time it can seem like an absolute impossibility on many fronts, be it because of financial circumstances, family dynamics and many other things. Now again, assuming that one's perspective after investigating the topic is that the right thing ultimately is to be in the land of Israel; One day, when we are to meet our Creator, He is not going to ask us, did you live in the land of Israel? Because again, if I believe ein od milvado - I will quickly realize that I will only live in the country that Hashem will place me in, and I actually have no say in the matter. 
But the question that will be asked is, did you pray to live in the land of Israel? And therefore, for the many people that would like to live in the land of Israel, but see it as an impossibility, the wisest thing that one can do is make it part of one's daily personal prayers to beg Hashem to give one the opportunity to come to live in the land of Israel. And again, even if one sees it as an impossibility, when one takes to heart that Hashem is the Creator and controls every detail of the world and can do absolutely anything, then I will quickly realize that I too can pray for absolutely anything.

414 - One Step Higher

We've been discussing how one of the most basic expressions of emunah and bitachon is to talk to Hashem, and how the opportunity to have a personal relationship with Hashem and talk to Hashem is available to every single one of us, regardless of our levels. Although it might be such a basic fundamental of emunah, that if I believe in Hashem, I know He is there, He can hear me, He can help me, why would I go and make other efforts in place of talking to Hashem? Again, we do have a mitzvah of Hishtadlus, to make our own efforts, and we can talk about that at another opportunity. But regardless of our own efforts, a person with an emunah mindset will certainly devote the majority part of their energy and effort to their relationship with Hashem, to talking to Hashem, because if He is the Creator of the world and He is the One that makes everything happen every moment, is it not logical to reach out to Him to help me, because He can and He just wants me to talk to Him before He sends me the help? 
As opposed to trying to make my own plans and forgetting to reach out to the Creator, which upon contemplation, one will quickly realize is an absolute absurdity. However, it's also important to remind ourselves that because of our human limitations, we often don't feel that inspiration and motivation, and even though we might know the information about emunah, that Hashem is there and does listen, when push comes to shove and we try to talk to Hashem, we feel like we are talking to a wall. And again, that is the whole objective of our existence in this world, to give us a test in our emunah and have the constant struggle every single day, regardless of what I might have learned. Today, I just don't feel it; I'm uninspired, I'm unmotivated. So what then do I do? 
What we've discussed many times is that the answer to all questions always is the opportunity to reach out to Hashem, even about this topic itself. I don't feel inspired about my emunah, my bitachon and my relationship with Hashem. Whatever I am able to say, I should. Perhaps, "Hashem, I really am not feeling that inspiration anymore, for whatever reason. Please can You help me, Hashem, that I should be able to talk to You with true sincerity and mean what I say. And Hashem, even if I'm not feeling it today, I'm asking You, please can You come through for me in the areas that I'm asking You, not just so that I should achieve what I'm trying to achieve, but more importantly, that I can see how You do listen to me and how You do come through for me, because there's been times in my life, Hashem, where I did talk to You, and You came through for me and You answered me, and when that happens, it's a tremendous motivator and inspiration for me to continue to build my relationship with You." 
There are many levels of emunah, and there are many levels of talking to Hashem. Every single one of us has the constant opportunity. All we are called on to do, is to do our best. Rabbeinu Bechaya to Bereshit chapter 46 verse 32 writes that many of our ancestors were shepherds. Hevel, the son of the first man - Adam, was a shepherd; and so were Moshe Rabbeinu, the prophet Shmuel, King Shaul, King David, as well as many others of our righteous ancestors. Rabbeinu Bechaya writes that they specifically chose shepherding as their profession because shepherds spend much of the day in the fields with their flocks, away from other people. And this is conducive to focusing on one's connection and relationship with Hashem, without distraction.
Because of the fast-paced world that we live in, we are all at risk of forgetting to prioritize our relationship with Hashem. Rabbeinu Bechaya here is teaching us that the secret to many of our ancestors' success was that they would seclude themselves at regular intervals. Again, there are many levels. Perhaps for some of our great ancestors, they might have secluded themselves away from other people to be able to just focus on their personal relationship with Hashem for a two-week uninterrupted period or longer. For many of us, that is not something attainable, but certainly, every single day, every one of us has the opportunity to build a personal relationship with Hashem. Every one of us according to our own level. The more we make an effort to build our emunah, the more we will be motivated and inspired to treat our relationship with Hashem and talking to Hashem with highest priority.

413 - Adversity Brings Sincerity

We've been discussing how one of the most basic expressions of applying and practicing our emunah and bitachon, which is our main purpose and focus in this world, as the Torah commentaries outline to us, is the opportunity of talking to Hashem in our own words. We've been discussing some Torah sources, seeing how throughout the ages, right from the beginning all the way through until today, this was always a fundamental practice of the Torah's perspective, the only true perspective, Hashem's perspective. The objective of studying sources such as these is to encourage and motivate ourselves that we too have the exact same opportunity. 
Although on the one hand, many of our ancestors were much greater than anything we could even begin to imagine in comparison to our level, and perhaps many of them were able to spend many hours on a daily basis in real close connection throughout their conversations with Hashem, many of us might not be expected to reach such a level of closeness with Hashem, but certainly we are expected and should capitalize on the opportunity to make our maximum effort within our maximum capacity. Every single one of us can talk to Hashem in our own words, both through good times when things are good thanking Hashem for all the amazing things that He blesses us with, as well as in treating Hashem and asking Him to help us throughout the difficult times that we experience.
The Gemara in Bava Basra 123a states that the first of the twelve tribes was supposed to be born to Rachel Imeinu. However, because of the extended and sincere prayers of Leah, she was privileged to give birth first. The Gemara explains why Leah was able to pray in such a heartfelt and sincere way: It was common in those times for members of extended families to marry one another. Now in the extended family of Avraham Avinu, there were two sisters and two brothers. Yaakov was the younger child, as was Rachel, whereas Eisav was the older one, as was Leah. Everyone was saying that Leah, the older sister, was therefore destined to marry Esav, the older brother. When Leah learned that Eisav was an evil man, she cried and prayed to Hashem that this destiny of hers not come to fruition. Because of this, she was able to pray so sincerely.
When we experience adversity and suffering, much of the time we just can't wait for the next chapter of our life to begin and just want to move out of the space of challenge and suffering. However, when we are able to have the right perspective, it can help us to cope with our challenges in a much better way, as well as capitalize on the opportunity for growth through that ordeal. Adversity is often a vehicle for us to put our full heart and soul into our prayers. Of course we don't ask to experience adversity and suffering, but when it does come, let us capitalize on the opportunity to pray with more sincerity. 
In a similar vein, in Shemos chapter 2, verse 23, the verse depicts the response of the Jewish people when they were subjected to the atrocious treatment of the Egyptians. And as the verse states, "they cried out to Hashem in prayer and their cries ascended to Hashem." Let us remind ourselves that one of the major obstacles that prevents us from calling out to Hashem, which is really such a basic equation if we believe in Hashem, is the lack of sincerity in our belief that Hashem is really listening. As Rav Pincus points out, it is very difficult to talk to a wall for a long period because you know that the wall is not listening. Whereas when we make our maximum effort to try and internalize more and more each day, that when we talk to Hashem, we are not talking to a wall, then it becomes so much easier to talk to Hashem. 
And again, one might feel, but it is hard for me to talk to Hashem. Does that mean that I am on a very low level, that talking to Hashem is not for me? God forbid. Let us remind ourselves that even with regards to a wicked person, we are taught that the opportunity for emunah and bitachon is available to every single human being. If our maximum capacity is to say, "Hashem, I want to believe in You, but I actually feel like I am kind of talking to a wall, please can You help me to see how You come through for me in my life, Hashem. Please show me how really it is You who is always orchestrating all the details of my life. And please can You send me some of those moments where I am inspired and motivated because I see how You are coming through for me in my life, and how the prayers that I make are actually making a difference. Thank You, Hashem, for the tremendous opportunity to have a personal relationship with You and be able to talk with You every single day."

412 - I Love You!

One of the six constant mitzvahs is the mitzvah to love HaShem. It is difficult sometimes to fulfill this mitzvah of loving HaShem because I don't see HaShem, I don't hear HaShem and in many ways it's hard for me to relate to HaShem - this abstract figure. How do I come to loving HaShem? 
The Rambam writes that the way we come to loving HaShem is by taking note of the things that He has created and admiring them and doing so will bring us to loving the Creator, the One who created all those things. As we've previously discussed, when one's approach towards HaShem is one of "You owe me", then of course we do not particularly feel grateful for the blessings that He sends us and why should we feel reason to love Him. Whereas when one lives the emunah approach and one internalizes, HaShem doesn't owe me anything and if I take note at the countless blessings in my life and internalize that each one of them is actually a gift from HaShem. When someone gives you a gift, you appreciate it and when they give you enough gifts just for no reason at all, just because they love you, that certainly is an incentive to love them back. 
"Thank you HaShem for all the tremendous gifts that You've given me. Let's start with my eyes, because we've just learned that one of the ways that I can come to love You is by taking note, appreciating and admiring Your creations. By having given me eyes, HaShem, You have now enabled me to be able to see and take note and appreciate and admire Your incredible creations. Be it a beautiful sunset, the countless stars in the sky, the many animals that You've created with such great wisdom, all the many miracles that exist in a human being, which I see so many of. Thank you HaShem for these incredible eyes to be able to see Your incredible creations and thereby come to love You.
HaShem, thank You so much for all the incredible gifts that You've given me. The fact that I can hear is not something You owe me. What a gift to be able to hear with these ears that You've given me and thereby be able to have a conversation and a relationship with another human being.
You know HaShem, I would like to imagine for myself for a moment that I cannot hear, and I experienced many years being deaf, and suddenly You come and offer me a gift where I will be able to hear. In that situation, if I was able to, I would come and hug and kiss You for such a tremendous gift. The truth of the matter is that You've given me a greater gift than that, because You created me that right from the time I was born I didn't even have to suffer one day without hearing.
HaShem, You have taught us Your perspective in many Torah sources that one of the most severe transgressions is to talk loshan hara and gossip about other people. And just as severe as it is to talk lashon hara is the transgression of listening to somebody else talk lashon hara. Now if You wanted to, You could have created a world where loshan hara didn't exist. But in Your great kindness, You gave me the opportunity to earn my place in the next world to enjoy Your goodness eternally. Thank You HaShem for giving me ears where I do have the ability to potentially listen to lashon hara, and I now have the choice to opt not to listen to the lashon hara that is being spoken, whereby I would be performing one of the greatest mitzvahs that can exist. And if I didn't have ears and the ability to hear, I would not be able to perform this mitzvah. Please HaShem help me not to be ungrateful, but rather to notice all the tremendous gifts that You give me, and thereby sincerely be able to say to You, I love You HaShem."

411 - Ripple Effect

We've been discussing the idea that Torah commentaries bring, that an extension of emunah - believing in Hashem, is to believe in ourselves. If Hashem believes in me, not only do I have the license to believe in myself, but I am obligated to believe in myself, because if I neglect to do so, I am in a sense denying Hashem's will. True humility does not mean to deny the truth. If Hashem made me a good businessman and I am doing my best to use my talents in service of Hashem, really trying to work hard and use the money for good causes, if I am complimented that I am a good businessman and trying to be humble, I deny that fact - that is not humility - that is just speaking words of untruth. And in a similar vein, if you know yourself to be a kind and warm individual, and when complimented on how nice it is to see someone so warm and kind, one denies that fact, again that is not humility, that is just speaking words of untruth.
Some commentaries explain that true humility means, when I am able to write about myself, "I am the humblest of all men." What exactly does this mean? We know that a verse in the Torah which Moshe Rabbeinu wrote himself states, "I, Moshe Rabbeinu, am the humblest of all men." And when Hashem told him to write so, he did not argue with Hashem and say, Hashem let's leave this line out of the Torah. And the commentaries explain, because Moshe Rabbeinu was a man of truth, he knew that he was the humblest man that will ever exist and therefore he was able to write that verse down. But at the same time, he was able to attribute his successes, talents and abilities, not to his own doing, but completely relating it to the gifts that Hashem has given him. If I am able to realize that any talent I might have is a gift from Hashem, and not because of my own cunning and doing, I am then able to acknowledge my talents and gifts that Hashem has given me, and believe in myself and use them to the highest degree, whilst at the same time never falling to arrogance, believing that it is only because of my cunning and doing that I am successful in these areas, God forbid, but only because Hashem has given me these gifts. 
Let us remind ourselves that any and every deed that we might perform has ripple effects beyond anything we can imagine. Firstly, in this world, we do not see the spiritual effects of our actions and if we do a mitzvah, from the smallest to the biggest mitzvah, perhaps giving one coin to charity, giving somebody a smile, learning Torah for 30 seconds, saying a short prayer, to doing these mitzvos in their ideal manner, such as giving a large amount of tzedakah, or learning Torah for a long period, or making a long prayer; if we are able to humble ourselves to believe that we do not understand and we do not see in this world the impact of our actions, and when we perform a mitzvah there are spiritual worlds being affected to degrees way beyond anything in this world can be affected, then we will certainly be motivated to realize that we should believe in ourselves and we can make a huge difference. 
Sometimes Hashem does decide to show us a little bit of inspiration, again to motivate us. Let's say a person decides to give a relatively small amount to charity. I decide to give $18 for a certain cause because this is what I can afford in this particular situation. But in passing, when I tell somebody else about this cause and how I donated to it, they decide that they are going to donate $1,800 to this cause on a monthly basis. I might never find out that the ripple effect of me giving my little one-time tzedakah affected many thousands of dollars being donated to this cause. Sometimes we do experience where an individual will approach one and tell them how the effect of their mitzvah had a tremendous ripple effect on them. "Thank you Hashem for teaching me that my main purpose in this world is to develop my emunah, ultimately trusting in You, and by extension, in the words of the sages, and extending it one step further, to believe in myself."

410 - Terrorist Attack

We've been discussing how Torah commentaries bring that one of the extensions of what it means to have emunah in Hashem is to believe in myself. If Hashem believes in me to the extent that He blessed me with certain abilities and talents, so certainly following the path of emunah and believing in Hashem, I am called on to always in any endeavor reach out to Hashem and ask Him to bring me success, and thereafter believe in myself that I can do it.
Let us remind ourselves that the whole purpose of this world is emunah, specifically to believe when I don't see. Just like I can't see Hashem, but I am called on to live a life where everything revolves around Hashem, even though I can't see Him, again based on emunah, based on belief, similarly, when it comes to my actions, I am not allowed to see the true effect of those actions in this world, because again if I was able to see the true spiritual impact of my actions, that would not be emunah anymore. 
When I give a coin to charity, I don't see any particular change in the world. When I give somebody a smile, learn a word of Torah, make a prayer, or any one of the many mitzvos that we have, much of the time we might not even feel any inspiration or change whatsoever, and that being the case, without building our faith in Hashem, our faith in ourselves that we are making a difference, a huge difference, bigger than anything we can imagine in this world, we will not be motivated to the correct degree. Many Torah commentaries outline this idea as a basic fundamental principle to the Torah. 
One of many stories that some of the Torah greats tell is the following. There was an individual who passed away, and when he came to the heavenly court, as we know, there is a heavenly accounting, and of course these are spiritual ideas, but to put it in terms that we can understand, a whole lot of white angels appeared corresponding to the mitzvos that this person fulfilled. And thereafter he saw some black angels coming, corresponding to the sins committed in this world. And slowly but surely, the side of the scale with the black angels started to get heavier and heavier, and eventually outweighed the white angels. And the man was panicking, because when the scorecard is such that there are more black angels than white, that means trouble. 
And suddenly, from far, again in our terms, just to give us a little bit of an understanding within the vocabulary we use, the man noticed that a huge bus was approaching, and soon the bus joined the white angels on their side of the scale. And the scale completely tipped in favor of the white angels - of the mitzvos. And the man was ecstatic, and when he asked for an explanation, he was told that this huge bus was filled with white angels. And even though he could not see how these mitzvos were related to him, they explained to him that there was just one time in his life where he had an opportunity to view something inappropriate, and because he fulfilled the tremendous mitzvah of guarding his eyes, as opposed to committing the sin of viewing something inappropriate, in the merit of that, Hashem decreed that a certain terrorist attack that was supposed to take place in another city, against an entire bus full of Jewish people, was saved due to His one action. And therefore, the merit of all the mitzvos that these people did throughout their lives came to help Him to outweigh the aveira on His scorecard. 
We have no concept of what it means to do a mitzvah, and likewise to do an aveira. We are taught that when a person does a mitzvah, we create spiritual worlds beyond anything we can even imagine can be encompassed within this world, and likewise with regards to the negative effect of our aveiros. What a privilege we have to view the world from the true lens of Emunah, not based on our understanding, which so much of the time can be misleading and mistaken, but rather from the true perspective, Hashem's perspective, which as discussed many times, is portrayed to us throughout the vast amount of information that we have through the Torah commentaries and leaders that Hashem has given us - Emunah.

409 - Bulletproof Confidence

We've been discussing the three types of emunah that the Torah commentaries bring. The first one, our life's work that we are most familiar with - making our maximum effort to take the emunah and bitachon that we've learnt about and trying to transform that to truly living our lives according to their values. The second type that we discussed was emunas chachamim - believing in the words of the sages, not just based on our understanding, but also appreciating that because of their holiness and closeness in their relationship to Hashem, Hashem has commanded us to follow their guidance. And again, just like when it comes to emunah and Hashem Himself, we don't do so because we understand, but rather we follow Hashem based on our emunah - our belief, similarly, when it comes to emunas chachamim, we are called on to build our emunah in the words of the sages. 
When we read a section of the Torah, of the Gemara, of the Shulchan Aruch and the like, our job is to build our emunah, that just like we would be so inspired and motivated if Hashem would tell us that information Himself, in a sense this is the same thing when we read these passages, because the oral tradition was given to Moshe Rabbeinu by Hashem, and just like at the giving of the Torah, we know that Hashem Himself revealed Himself to the Jewish people for the first two of the Ten Commandments, but because the experience was so overwhelming, the Jewish people requested that the rest should be transmitted only to Moshe Rabbeinu, who would then relay the information to them. Perhaps this is one reason why Hashem doesn't reveal Himself to every one of us in an obviously revealed manner the same way that He did to Moshe Rabbeinu, and there may be many other reasons, but the bottom line is that the words of the sages come directly from Hashem, and our job is to build our emunah chachamim.
And the third type of emunah that the Torah commentaries bring is emunah in oneself - belief in oneself. And as we discussed, self-confidence can come from two different places. When self-confidence comes from the place of, "I am able to do this", and I forget to bring Hashem into the picture, although if I have certain strategies, I might be able to portray or feel what people usually refer to as self-confidence, however in truth, this is certainly not something that we should aim at. The true self-confidence - emunah in ourselves, that we should be aiming at, is again an extension of emunah in Hashem. If I believe in Hashem, and Hashem believes in me, then certainly I should believe in myself. And therefore whatever opportunities Hashem has presented me in my life, whatever abilities He might have given me, after praying to Hashem and asking Him to help me in my endeavor, I should certainly feel confident that I can do it. 
"Hashem my Father, thank You so much for teaching me this incredible Torah teaching about how important it is to believe in myself. Because the truth is, Hashem, that if You believe in me, I have no right not to believe in myself. Hashem, sometimes I say to myself, what is my Torah learning even worth? I barely have a background in Torah learning. I struggle so much with basic Torah learning, whereas there are so many people that have had so much more exposure than me, and their Torah learning is at a level much higher than mine. Hashem, please help me to remove these terrible thoughts from my heart and mind. 
Because Hashem, if You believe in me, and You've told me that there is a mitzvah to learn Torah, and that's applicable to everyone, just like I believe in You whether I understand it or not, I also believe that if You commanded me to learn Torah, regardless of how much value I might feel that may have, I don't want to do things because of my understanding; I want to do it because of emunah. Please Hashem, help me to believe in myself, that even if I am able to read just a few passages from Torah literature in English on a daily basis, that I should treat that time with absolute highest priority, and realize that like the Gemara teaches, "bishvili nivra haolam" - the entire world was created just for me. And when I go ahead and learn Torah in those few moments, that is the core reason that You created the entire world for, including everything encompassed within it. 
Hashem, at times it is difficult for me to feel confident to go ahead with the ideas that I have in myself, of what I believe I can contribute to the world. Please Hashem, help me always, first and foremostly, to reach out to You and not fall in the trap of looking at other addresses to try to find my self-confidence, but rather always coming to You and begging You for help and success. And after I have done so, Hashem, please help me to be so confident, because if You believe in me, I have every reason in the world to believe in myself."

408 - Believe In Yourself

We've been discussing how the Torah commentaries break down emunah into three parts. The first one, simple emunah and bitachon, placing our trust and reliance on Hashem, as we've discussed much about. The second one, emunas chachamim, where we extend our belief in Hashem to belief in the words of Moshe Rabbeinu, and by extension, the sages, where the tradition was passed down early to, from generation to generation. And the third category of emunah that Torah commentaries outline is having emunah in yourself. Rav Tzadok HaKohen, as well as many other Torah commentaries, discuss this idea. 
When we wake up in the morning, the first line we are supposed to say is "modeh ani", which ends with the words "rabba emunasecha". One interpretation of these words is, "Hashem, your emunah in me is very great." We are declaring that Hashem has a lot of faith in me. Hashem created me in the first place, and He decided that today I should wake up again for a new day. If there was no purpose for me in the world today, and I believe that Hashem orchestrates every single detail in the world, then why would He have given me another day of life? There is no question in the world that if I woke up today, I have a very specific purpose that nobody else in the world can fulfill. 
And in the words of the Gemara, every person is obligated to believe, "bishvili nivra haolam" - that the entire world was created just for me. Let's just take those words to heart. All the people in the world, all the investments, all the projects, the sun, moon, and stars, and we can go on. It was all created for one purpose; just for me. Digesting that idea should help motivate me what a tremendous opportunity I have in this world. But not only that, what a tremendous responsibility I have in this world. Because in Hashem's greatness, He is able to create everything exclusively just for you, and He is able to do that with regards to everyone. Now if Hashem decided to create this entire world, including everything comprised within it, just for you, there is no question He believes in you, and you have a purpose in this world that nobody else can fulfill. 
If Hashem believes in you, and you decide not to believe in yourself, in a sense one is denying Hashem. Hashem is saying X, and I am saying Y. By the fact that Hashem gave me the abilities in what I have to contribute to the world, from the smallest of the smallest ways, to the biggest of the biggest ways; if I have the ability to give somebody a smile, which is one of the greatest mitzvos, or perhaps I am in a position to give charity, or perhaps I am able to learn Torah, or perhaps I am able to pray, talking to Hashem in my own words, and the list goes on and is tailor-made for every individual - every single one of us has our unique talents and abilities, and we are therefore called on to believe in ourselves. When a person commits a sin, one might feel, maybe I am not worthy anymore, but again, if I woke up today, Hashem believes in me. Even if it was the worst of sins, Hashem believes in me, that there is potential for me to do teshuvah and rectify what I did wrong and become great.
Just like when it comes to emunah, one can never tell the true level of somebody else's emunah. Sometimes, two people who are presented with a potentially anxiety-provoking situation may respond in a similar manner. They both might be very calm. It could be that the one individual's natural tendency is just to be calm, even though they might have barely worked on their emunah and bitachon. And certainly this is barely an achievement, because this is just the way Hashem made them. It could be the other individual naturally leans towards feelings of anxiety, and because of this individual's growth in emunah and bitachon, is now able to feel calm.
And in a similar vein, when it comes to people who appear to be self-confident, it can come in one of two different ways. Sometimes that self-confidence can come from a place completely contrary to the values of emunah. Sometimes people believe in themselves because they believe they are the master to their own destiny, and because they have been successful in some areas of their life, that leads them to arrogance and sometimes can be viewed as self-confidence. Whereas another individual who is on the path of true emunah and bitachon might be led to a place of true self-confidence, not because of arrogance, God forbid, but rather because if Hashem believes in me, I can certainly believe in myself.

407 - Choosing Your Rabbi

We've been discussing what the Torah commentaries divide into three types of emunah, and whilst our main focus is always revolving around the core of everything - emunah and bitochen in Hashem, it is certainly worthwhile to also delve into the other areas that the Torah commentaries discuss. We spoke about the second type of emunah - emunas chachamim, where we are called on to believe in the words of our sages, starting from Moshe Rabbeinu who received the oral tradition directly from Hashem and was passed down from generation to generation. 
And as we spoke about, the Midrash brings down that we are supposed to reach such a level of emunas chachamim, of belief in the words of the sages, that with regards to the Sanhedrin, the great beis din of times of old, even if they were to tell us the right is the left, or the left is the right, we are supposed to aim to reach such a high level of belief in their words, that we will listen regardless of our understanding. Jjust like we do not understand Hashem's doings and we are called on to believe and place our trust in Him, by extension, we are called on to believe in the words of the holy sages who have a special close relationship with Hashem, and Hashem has designated to be guides for us in our lives. 
As mentioned, the Rambam outlines that the oral tradition that was given to Moshe Rabbeinu directly from Hashem was passed down from generation to generation to specific individuals. The Mishnah in Pirkei Avos teaches, that one is supposed to make for themselves a rabbi. Part of the purpose of doing so is that when a question arises in halacha that I am not able to investigate and find the answer to myself, I am now able to seek the guidance of an authentic talmid chacham who is well-versed in all areas of Torah and is able to guide us when it comes to halacha. 
Another fundamental principle is the concept of da'as torah - that when a person needs to make a decision - of course much of the time I am able to find the answer myself, but with regards to certain areas of my life where I have a question mark, besides doing research and as discussed many times, talking to Hashem and asking Him for clarity, we are called on to seek guidance from Torah leaders who are authentic talmid chachamim and tzaddikim who are able to guide us in the right direction.
In times of old, the concept of a personal rabbi was very different to how it is today. Because the oral Torah was not written down, most of the Torah information I received was from the Torah teaching of my rabbi. And that being the case, there were very many serious laws with regards to the respect of one's Torah teacher. One example, as brought in Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah section 242, is that anybody who argues with his rabbi - and again this is a rabbi in times of old who one is learning all the Torah information from, and there was no Torah literature available in books - it's as if he's arguing with the shechina. 
And there are many other similar statements. There is a lot of Torah literature available about emunas chachamim, and one is certainly encouraged to pursue this topic further. For our purposes right now, it is worthwhile to mention that Torah commentaries bring that one of the extensions of having emunah in Hashem is building our belief in the words of the sages - emunas chachamim, which of course starts with Moshe Rabbeinu and was passed down from generation to generation all the way through to the sages of the Gemara. 
In today's times, where it is not always as clear as to who exactly that chain was passed down to. In order to fulfill this advice of the mission in Pirkei Avos which says one ought to make for oneself a rabbi, one of the greatest things we can do in trying to make an effort to find them is ask Hashem and say, "Hashem, please can you help me to fulfill the mitzvah of emunas chachamim - of belief in the words in the sages, to the highest degree, and even in our day and age today, Hashem, please can you guide me and help me to find the rabbi, talmid chacham, and tzaddik, who could be most suited for my situation and guide me in the most ideal way for my life."