319 - Tests & Decisions (Part-6)

We've been talking about the fundamental idea discussed by many Torah authorities that Hashem created this world ultimately in order to test us, to give us the opportunity to pass the tests that He presents us, thereby earning our place in the world to come. We've discussed many times that if we make decisions just based on our logic, we are susceptible to making the wrong decisions because of our limitations and ability to make mistakes. In addition to the way we are limited, such as mistakes that we might make in our calculations, or a vested interest that we might have that will lead us to a certain mode of thought and direction, it is also important for us to internalize and humble ourselves to what the Torah teaches us about the concept of timtum haleiv.

Timtum haleiv means the spiritual contamination of one's heart. And the more we are spiritually contaminated from the effect of certain sins that we might have committed, the less we are able to view the world out of Hashem's lens. When we make decisions, if we are using our own mode of thought and logic, even if we are sure we are not doing so out of vested interests, and we are 100% sure that we are absolutely unmistaken, we might have some timtum haleiv, some spiritual contamination to our soul where we are now not able to view the situation out of the correct lens.

So just going ahead and making the decision without talking to Hashem, asking Him for His clarity and guidance, could lead us, God forbid, to make that decision from a place of spiritual contamination. We are so privileged to have the opportunity to talk to Hashem every single day, at every single moment, for no fee. We have the opportunity to ask Hashem for clarity, to guide us based on His perspective, the only absolute correct perspective which is completely uncontaminated spiritually.

Our job is to internalize more and more the belief that Hashem is listening to what we are saying, and when we talk to Him, it makes a difference. It is interesting to note that sometimes an idea just pops into our head, sometimes it is apparent that it was a sudden flash of light, but at other times we just changed mode of thought and course of action and we almost can't explain what inspired us to change our thought process and now move forward in a different direction than we previously intended to. An emunah approach teaches us that Hashem is Ein Od Milvado, there is nothing else in the world except for Hashem, and any thought that I have is because Hashem is putting that thought into my brain. When I talk to Hashem and I ask Him to guide me to the right mode of thought, then those thoughts that He will send me will be the ones that are Hashem's perspective. 

“Hashem, my Father, I am trying so much to grow in my emunah, my belief that You are absolutely and completely involved in every single detail of my life. I really want to believe sincerely that You hear every word that I say, and the thoughts that I have are only as a result of You deciding to put those thoughts into my head, and therefore Hashem, I ask You, please will You help me to internalize the emunah, the belief that there is nothing more in the world that can help me than You exclusively, and the wisest thing for me to do when making my decisions would be to talk to You and ask You to guide me and thereafter I know and trust that You will direct me in the right direction.

At the same time, Hashem, the normal way of the world is not to work in this way. People usually rely on their own cunning and logic to make decisions, and everything around me seems to dictate to do so, and in fact it is quite difficult to believe that talking to You and asking You to help me is a wise course, because I don't see You and I don't hear You, and very often even after I do talk to You, I still don't have clarity as to what to do. But Hashem, please help me to follow the Torah's perspective and grow in my belief that You exclusively are the One who has always guided me, who is guiding me, and always will guide me in the right direction.”