314 - Tests & Decisions (Part-1)

The classic Sefer, Messilas Yesharim, brings down the well-known idea brought by many Torah authorities that all of the happenings in our lives in this world are ultimately in order to test us. As we've learned many times, Hashem ultimately created this world in order to give us an opportunity to earn for ourselves our future in the next world. And by giving us opportunities where we are able to either pass or fail a test, we now have a chance to earn our place in the next world. Of course, our aim should be to try to pass the test initially, but in Hashem's great He has also given us the opportunity of teshuvah, to rectify mistakes or even transgressions that we committed on purpose, where we have an opportunity to rectify what we have done wrong, and by doing so that would be passing the test. 

The areas that we are tested in will vary from individual to individual, and just like one cannot know the level of emunah of another individual because ultimately that depends on my personal relationship with Hashem and many factors which other people will not be aware of, including my personality, sensitivities, the way I was brought up, and many other factors. And in the same way, the areas that Hashem may give me an opportunity to be tested and hopefully succeed in passing that test, will vary from individual to individual.

Rav Dessler talks of the nekudas ha-bechira, which means the point of free choice. That point of free choice will vary from individual to individual, and even within oneself may vary from day to day, or even from moment to moment on a given day. So, for many individuals, when I walk into a supermarket and I do not steal items from the supermarket, I have not performed a particularly great mitzvah because under my nekudas ha-bechira, where my free will lies, I don't even have an evil inclination to steal. It's not something that I think of to do. Whereas, when I'm about to have a drink of water, many times I'm in a hurry and I rush the saying of the bracha before and after drinking the water. My test would be, am I going to rush another bracha, or am I going to slow down and say it with meaning and intention? 

And take another individual who has struggled with crime and stealing, and perhaps has even sat in prison for periods of time. For this individual, walking into a supermarket and not stealing might be a huge test that could be comparable to me having said every blessing today with ideal intention and meaning. One never knows where someone else's point of bechira, free choice, and the opportunity to pass the test lies. And even for myself, very often it is not clear exactly where the point of my test might be. However, what we are to remember is that in this world, we were created to be given tests. Not because Hashem wants to catch us out, but because each moment is and can be an opportunity to gain our place in the next world.