275 - Gratitude (Part-4)

The Gemara in one place teaches us that since the time of the destruction of the base Hamikdash, the gates of prayer have been locked. The Gemara elsewhere, however, teaches that even were there to be such a strong separation, such as an iron wall dividing us away from Hashem, nevertheless we would never be separated from Hashem, and our prayers always have the potential to make their way up to Hashem. And one of the classic commentators, the Maharsha, writes that in order to resolve this contradiction, that when it comes to prayers of gratitude, then there is no barrier whatsoever between Hashem and ourselves in terms of our prayers, whereas when it comes to other forms of prayer, requests and the like, then since the time of the destruction of the base Hamikdash, it is more difficult for our prayers to make their way up to Hashem. 

I read an amazing story in the book, Just One Word Emunah, by Esther Stern, that drives this point home. There was a couple who got married in the year 1979. For ten years they were unable to have children, and of course throughout that process and time they made their efforts to try and enable them to have children, be it seeing doctors or spiritual endeavors. Another ten years passed, now twenty years in total, with still no sign of any child or possibility of having children in sight. This of course was a point of tremendous heartache in this couple's life. Nevertheless, being God-fearing Jews, they went to receive blessings from some great people, and the woman in the story recounts that their situation was so impossible to have children, when they went to certain great people, they were encouraged to accept their situation that they weren't meant to have children. However, this woman says that she had learned that there is never a space to give up, and even when all odds are against an individual, one can always pray for things to turn into their favor. 

The woman in the story reports that she and her husband, during this period of being unable to have children, and of course having this at the forefront of their minds all the time, visited Kever Rachel, the holy place of the tomb of Rachel, every morning for two years reciting the entire book of Tehillim. Now for most of us, that would be a very big spiritual effort. Nevertheless, they did not see a sign of children. After 31 years of being unable to have children, says the woman in the story, she was speaking to a friend who had learned about the concept of thanking Hashem both for the times that we understand as good, as well as for the unpleasant times, because although we don't see the good in those situations, we believe that Hashem will only send our way what is good for us. 

And after learning about this concept, she and her husband decided to change course completely, and instead of requesting from Hashem to have a child, they began thanking Hashem for 32 years of being unable to have children, firstly, thanking Hashem for their emunah in their lives, being able to believe that if Hashem has sent them a certain challenge, of course it will be for their best, and perhaps also finding other reasons why Hashem's decree could be for their good, such as for 32 years they have had the opportunity to live with a certain level of humility and connection to Hashem, and dependency of Hashem praying to Him so much in perhaps a way that many others could not do. 

And she says that this became their mode of thinking in all areas of their life. When something broke in their house, although one's instinctive response is to be frustrated or complain, they got into a mode where they said, "thank you Hashem that the washing machine just broke; thank you Hashem that the fridge now needs repair", and believe it or not, after 32 years, this woman and her husband merited to have a child. And she passionately describes how more potent than any form of prayer or spiritual endeavor, to just thank Hashem is the highest of the high because again, if we believe that Hashem can do and only does good for us, we will thank Him for everything.