199 - Absolute Sincerity

We've been discussing one of the greatest opportunities that we have, to constantly converse with Hashem about anything and everything, and of course, it is not easy to keep up the practice on a constant basis, because as Rav Pinkus points out, many people struggle to talk to Hashem because they don't truly believe Hashem is listening to them; whereas the more one builds their emunah, that Hashem is truly there, and every single word that I utter, as the Midrash says, it's as if I'm telling it to Hashem directly in His ear, the more one is motivated by the truth of what is truly going on, that Hashem is listening to every single utterance that I make, the more motivated I will be to prioritize the time that I speak to Hashem about any area of my life. 

When I need anything, certainly my first address will be to reach out to Hashem, and the discussion we've been focusing on is emunah in general, being our main purpose and focus in this world, is something that does not come easy, and is our life's work. And one of the main efforts that we can make towards growing in our emunah endeavor is to reach out to Hashem Himself and ask Him for help. Every single one of us has the opportunity to talk to Hashem in our own words, asking Him to be successful in our emunah, in our bitachon, and in anything else that we see as a priority in our lives. 

We mentioned that many Torah commentaries refer to personal conversations with Hashem as hisbodedus, which simply means secluding oneself away from other people and other distractions, and talking to Hashem in one's own words. And we mentioned the rare expression used by the Mesillas Yesharim in chapter 15, where he says "hisbodedus is more precious than anything else." We also spoke about the statement of the Masters of Kabbalah, which are cited by both the Sefer Chareidim in chapter 65, as well as the Shelah Hakadosh, in Yoma, ner Mitzvah, Beis, that "the effect that hisbodedus has on the soul is seven times greater than the effect of learning Torah." This is a very potent statement because there are countless Torah sources that highlight the tremendous value that Torah learning has, and as we recite every morning the first Mishnah in Peah which says that the value of Torah learning equals all of the other mitzvahs put together; yet here we learn that the effect of talking to Hashem is so potent that it has a seven times greater effect than even that of Torah learning.

The Chofetz Chaim in Likutei Amarim, chapter 11, writes, "The reason that we do not merit salvation from all the hard times that befall us is that we do not pray and cry out to Hashem enough." He continues, "It is not sufficient to daven Shmoneh Esrei three times a day, rather, several times a day whilst alone, a person must pour out his heart in prayer to Hashem from the depths of his soul. Since one is accustomed to the daily recital of the Shmoneh Esrei, one does not say these prayers with absolute sincerity. On the other hand, when it comes to speaking to Hashem with our own words, in our own way, this type of prayer emanates from the depths of one's soul with true sincerity, and this type of prayer will without question not be denied by Hashem." 

Much has been written about His bodedness and one's personal relationship with Hashem, and one who'd like to research this topic further will be able to easily do so by the many fantastic sefarim and online resources that are available to us in today's day and age. Ultimately, however, no external resource can give over the precise details of what it means to have a personal relationship with Hashem. Just like one cannot be robotically directed as to what to discuss or when, where and how often to connect with one's spouse or best friend, in the same way, when it comes to our relationship with Hashem, ultimately it is your personal relationship with Hashem. One does not need to be a scholar or have a diploma in order to enter into a relationship. Hisbodedus is a relationship. It's your own personal relationship with Hashem.