128 - Endless Appreciation

When making a commitment to Hashem of how much time we are planning to commit to be our sacred time, just you and me Hashem, it is motivating to internalize what the verse states in Divrei Hayamim. The verse states, "For everything is from you, Hashem, and from your hand we have given back to you." Hashem created the world and Hashem created us. Every single moment of the 24 hours of the day is a gift Hashem has given to us. Hashem does not owe us anything. 

Unfortunately sometimes we fall into a mistaken thought process, thinking as if Hashem owes us the things that we might be lacking. So when things are going well, I have food on the table, I have the money I need, and the like, I might be happy. But if I don't have food today for whatever reason, or I am struggling financially, a mistaken perspective would be to start getting upset with Hashem, saying, "Hashem, why didn't you give me the money that I need? Can you not see how my family is struggling so much now?" Part of where such a response comes from is because one might feel - Hashem owes me; He gave me food yesterday; He gave me money yesterday, why is He suddenly taking it away? And the truth of the matter is that Hashem owes us nothing. Hashem created us, and that itself is a gift, because if He didn't choose to create us, we wouldn't exist. So anything and everything that we receive is actually a gift from Hashem, not something that He owes us. 

And if we take this perspective to heart, we will be able to internalize what this verse in Divrei Hayamim means. "Because everything is from you, Hashem, and from your hand we have given back to you." Anything we do throughout our day, throughout our lives, success in our endeavors, and even spiritual success and achievements in endeavors towards serving Hashem, all of our successes and achievements is actually just giving back to Him from the gift that He gave us in the first place. So with this perspective in mind, today Hashem has gifted me with 24 hours. He does not owe me one hour, one minute, nor one second. It is all a gift. Each moment is a gift. So of those 24 hours that Hashem has given me as a free gift, how much makes sense for me to give back to Him in striving to build our personal relationship? Of course we are human beings and limited, and nobody can commit to 24 hours on a daily basis of personal conversation and connection with Hashem. Nevertheless, we ought to think about the 24 hours that Hashem is giving us when striving to make a commitment of how much we are going to try to talk to Hashem on a daily basis for. If I am committing to one minute a day, for many people that would certainly not be respecting Hashem in the right manner.

Imagine for a moment a father gives a child a gift of $1 million, and when the time comes for the child to reciprocate and give some sort of gift to the father, the child is stingy and is only prepared to use $1 or $2 to reciprocate. That would obviously be grossly ungrateful. And in the same way, when we internalize that the 24 hours of the day are a complete gift from Hashem in the first place, then for many, committing to a small amount of time might be comparable to that child giving $1 or $2 back.

"Hashem, my Father, even though I want to believe that everything You give me is an absolute outright gift, and anything I give back to You is never going to be on par with what You gave to me, nevertheless, Hashem, as usual, emunah is difficult and I have to grow in my belief, because I don't see this, I don't see You. Please help me to internalize that You don't owe me anything, and everything I have in my life is an absolute free gift from You. And therefore, help me, Hashem, to commit to giving You back, whatever I am able to, to my maximum capacity."