125 - Walking the Walk

We've discussed many times that the Torah commentaries write, that the ultimate way for us to gain our place in the next world is by making our maximum effort to grow in our emunah. We've also mentioned how one of the highest expressions of emunah, belief in Hashem, is to place high focus in our dedication to talking to Hashem in our own words. We've mentioned previously how the Chofetz Chaim writes that the reason tragedies were befalling the people of his time was because although people were accustomed to praying the three prescribed prayers, Shacharis, Mincha and Maariv, nevertheless he was calling on people to also talk to Hashem in their own words multiple times a day, because, as he says, the prescribed prayers are said daily and therefore for many people sometimes become monotonous and lack the real meaning and intention of what a prayer should look like. We've also mentioned what the Sefer Chareidim and the Shelah Hakadosh write, that the effect of this deep connection in the form of secluding oneself away from other people and communing with Hashem alone, talking to Hashem in one's personal words, the effect that this has on one's soul is seven times greater than the effect that Torah study has on one's soul. Anyone who is somewhat familiar with Torah literature will have read many passages about the great value of Torah study. The one that we recite every morning that many are familiar with is that Talmud Torah, the learning of Torah, is equated to all of the mitzvahs put together. Yet we are taught here that the effect of personal prayer, talking to Hashem with sincerity in one's own words, is seven times greater than even that. And there are many other Torah passages throughout Torah literature and Torah commentaries that Bezrat Hashem over time we will have the opportunity to explore together, highlighting the importance of personal prayer with Hashem. 

For many people, talking to Hashem in one's own words, especially for longer periods, can be difficult. Of course, the more one grows in one's emunah, the easier that becomes, because one doesn't anymore feel like one is talking to a wall. It can be very difficult to talk to Hashem when one doesn't really believe and feel that He is listening. And our sincerity, dedication, and motivation to talk to Hashem will very much depend on the degree of our belief; not only that He exists and is running the show, but that He is actually listening to every word that I utter, even though I do not hear any response. As we grow in our emunah journey and we try to internalize the belief that Hashem is present and listening to every single thing that I utter, if we stop for a moment and internalize that thought, it will quickly become apparently obvious that we should, ideally, be dedicating a lot of time to talking to Hashem, because why would we go to an alternative address? Nevertheless, after all is said and done, talking to Hashem can be a difficult endeavor, because even though we might be trying to believe that He is listening to us, we nevertheless don't hear a response, and much of the time, perhaps, don't see nor experience any fruits to the prayers we might have made, and therefore it can be very difficult to be motivated to talk to Hashem in our own words. 

"Hashem, I know that You are listening to me, but it's also so difficult to be motivated to talk to You in a serious and sincere manner, for longer periods especially, because I don't hear Your responses, and You are not like another human being where I can see You and hear You. I do believe, and I want to believe more, that You are listening to me, but it is also difficult to internalize that belief. Hashem, I'm asking You to guide me to the things that will motivate me to not only grow in my emunah and belief in You, but also take it to the next level, to apply that belief in a practical way, and be sincerely dedicated in talking to You in a serious and sincere way."